Ain’t No Party Like A Pity Party
I’ve been thinking a lot lately.
And that is a problem.
Thinking is not my super power. In fact, it might be my kryptonite.
Something I’m coming to understand more deeply is that everything has LAYERS. Surrender, release, allowing, receiving, and creating are all cyclical.
Growth and expansion happen when we shed the old to create the new.
At some point the new becomes the old and so on.
When we choose to live conscious, awake lives – meaning we choose the path of self-awareness over “ignorance is bliss”, there will always be stuff to deal with.
We are never finished. We never “arrive.” What we do is develop practices for feeling good most of the time.
We open ourselves to new levels of joy, love, bliss and fulfillment. This also means we open ourselves to new levels of despair, loneliness, and confusion. That’s contrast.
We actually couldn’t experience the really high highs without knowing the darkness of the really low lows. – Click To Tweet
What a bitch, right?
So how do we manage this full range of emotions?
I allowed myself to get pissed off for the first time in a while recently.
To be fair, I rarely have anything to be angry about – but that day, it was me. Pissed at myself for settling for things in a few areas of my life that just aren’t up to par with the lifestyle I want to live.
For me getting pissed off always precedes feeling super motivated so I didn’t fight it, I let it wash over me.
And I was reminded that when we coach, spend time on personal development or spirituality, sometimes we think it’s not ok to feel certain things or that we need to coach ourselves, tap ourselves, meditate ourselves, or heal ourselves out of it.
NO. Sometimes you just need to fucking feel it because it’s there for a reason and there’s a message that you’re not receiving because you’re more concerned with avoiding the feeling.
And it’s crazy to me that I KNOW THIS but none of us are perfect at practicing all the things we know all the time. Sometimes we have to get slammed in the face with it to wake up.
It’s also true that those of us who teach, even quite masterfully, will always be presented with situations to deepen our own practices, to keep us on our game, and be sure we are living our message.
After all, with great power comes great responsibility.
There are a lot of people on line who don’t treat their power and influence as a responsibility, but that’s a post for another day.
In her book, Money, A Love Story, my friend Kate Northrup wrote, “You have to feel it to heal it.”
Some of us, as a defense mechanism are really good at not feeling our emotions. All that does is allow the pressure to build until our release has to be in the form of an outburst.
Emotions don’t have to last that long if we get attuned to feeling them as they come up and letting them pass through us.
In a book by Pema Chodron (I forget which one), she talks about Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a stroke survivor who went on to write and speak about the experience.
One of the things she said was technically, emotions only last 90 seconds. After that it’s us dragging it out.
One of the reasons we don’t feel our emotions is because we’re disconnected from our bodies. We are not tuned into the sensations and the biofeedback we’re constantly receiving.
We were too busy thinking and living in our heads to FEEL the natural cues.
In Maps to Ecstasy, Gabrielle Roth wrote, “For me the best way to still my mind is to move my body.”
Movement is the most underrated path to freedom. – Click to Tweet
Whether you go for a walk, do yoga, dance (even to just one song in your car or living room), hit the gym, try something new, run up and down the stairs in your house a few times, ANYTHING.
And if you find yourself spiraling into the depths of a disempowering storm of crappy thoughts, combine your movement with a prayer or mantra – you can click here for all my favorites.
Ain’t No Party Like A Pity Party