The Wild Soul Way to Ring in a New Year
Last month I was at a retreat. During a yoga session the woman next to me was having a really tough time. She spent the whole hour laying on her mat, eyes covered, crying, and doing her best to breathe and relax. I observed myself wanting to step out of my experience and help her. “I can Reiki her! I can hold her hand!” were some of my thoughts. I decided to stay on my mat, in my own experience.
There’s an unhealthy self-centeredness in jumping into others’ experiences without permission. It actually robs them of the opportunity to handle their own shit. There’s a righteousness and assumption that we can do it better, and maybe we can, but it’s not our call.
Not taking responsibility for others’ experiences and the beauty of staying in my own ended up being a big theme for me at that retreat and I’m carrying it into 2015.
In this post I’m going to share with you how I’ve evolved in my approach to ringing in a New Year over the last couple and give you some steps to inject some #wildsoul into your own.
I used to approach the coming of a New Year like this:
1. Write out goals.
2. Make a list of resolutions.
And most of those two things were externally based. Like 16% body fat, workout 5 days/wk, go gluten, sugar and dairy free, make $250k, blah blah blah.
When I set goals and resolutions that revolved around the outside world, instead of feeling super turned on and invigorated, I’d actually feel worried and question myself. Will another year go by and I’ll end up no closer to my dreams, financial freedom or deep passionate love?
I was pretty much dead in the water before the year even started.
In 2013 I began to shift more into feelings over goals, femininity over force, meditation over willpower, joy over perfection, and bliss over achievement.
Making that statement was a start and I did a decent job at it, except for the part where I totally tuned out on my intuition and got a bit lost. I was literally having dreams every few months of someone screaming at me, “You’re not listening!”
This year year I finally found my stride. I felt into what wanted to come through me instead of demanding tall orders of myself that were impossible to fill. I prayed a lot, asked my higher self, wrote out her responses in my journal. I invited the Divine into my Life in I chatted with a handful of people who I know fully support the way I do Life regularly.
The result? A wild fucking year.
Lots of magic.
Lots of crazy expansion.
Lots of pain.
Lots of shadowy dark emotions I didn’t even know I’d buried.
Lots of facing the truth.
Lots of feeling afraid and taking action anyway.
Lots of allowing myself to unravel, shape-shift, explore, question, and trust.
Lots of passion, fire, LOVE and connection.
My word for 2014 was DISCERNMENT and it’s the first word I ever stuck with and felt guided by for a full year.
For 2015 my word is RESPONSIBILITY. I’ve shared that with a few people and gotten responses like, “oooh, that feels heavy.” and “That just made my chest tighten up a bit.”
My why behind choosing RESPONSIBILITY as the key to higher love and expansion in 2015 goes back to my opening story.
Something I want to stop doing in 2015 is taking responsibility for other people’s experiences.
I recently connected with a deity that really feels like me, the Hindu Goddess Durga. As Sally Kempton explains in Awakening Shakti, “When Durga’s revolutionary energy sweeps through the world, there is no going back to the way things were before.” But like everything in Life, there is a shadow side, too. “Durga’s shadow is harshness and the need for control.”
So by choosing RESPONSIBILITY for my guiding word in 2015, my intention is to keep DISCERNMENT on the side and allow myself to release the need for any control or manipulation over anyone, anything, any outcome or experience. I get to only accept responsibility for what’s actually mine.
I brainstormed a list of what that may look and feel like:
Finding the sacred in the mundane.
Treating EVERYTHING like a miracle.
Infusing ritual into my To Do List.
Taking a stand for Unbounded Ecstasy.
Not taking responsibility for others’ experiences.
Nourishing myself with exquisite care.
Fully expressing my joy.
Allowing my emotions to guide me.
Feeling my feelings.
Exercising discernment about who I spend time with or invite into my Life intimately.
Breathing, blessing and loving when I feel judgy or hurt.
Nothing happens to me, everything happens for me (adapted from Byron Katie).
Here’s some steps for feeling into what wants to come through you in 2015:
1.Ask yourself how you want to feel in 2015. My favorite tool for figuring this out is here.
2. Once you know how you want to feel, take an inventory of your current lifestyle and see what needs to go? What’s in the way? What physical, mental and emotional stuff is impeding your forward progress?
3. Choose a word that feels like a really strong guide post. That will constantly invite you to stay in your own experience, release the stuff from #2, and expand into and invite in the feelings from #1.
And if you wanna share your process with the Wild Soul Community, you’re invited to post it here .
Or if you’re super visual, snap a pic and tag me on Instagram @lizdialto and hashtag it #wildsoul.The Wild Soul Way to Ring in a New Year