Should You Hire A Coach?
I’ve seen a lot of posts lately ranting about the coaching industry. Aside from the sweeping generalizations that always happen whenever people want to call out an entire industry, there’s a lot of relevant points surfacing.
As a person who has invested over $40k in coaching since 2010, and never walked away disappointed or feeling like I didn’t get my money’s worth, I’ve got some experiences and insights to share. Maybe they’ll be helpful for you, maybe not.
I trust you’ll let me know via Facebook or email (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you’re particularly moved one way or another.
Of all the relevant points coming up in these posts about the coaching industry, the two I’m particularly passionate about are precision of language and congruency.
Here’s a story to illustrate why.
The other day a coach friend of mine posted something in a Facebook group about work he’s been doing with clients to help them break patterns. In his post he said, “When I eliminate their pattern for them…”
Here was my reply to that post:
“When I eliminate their pattern for them” – I love you [name], AND I don’t buy this. You can’t actually do this work for someone, you can facilitate it sure, but they do they work. In fact, if I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t say anything because I wouldn’t give a shit. This is why so many people have issues with the coaching industry, we’ve got to be super careful and precise with our language.”
I also think this lack of precision includes omitting facts that make a big difference, this is where congruency comes in. While I am a believer that “we teach what we need to learn” I’m more of a believer that we as coaches have got to embody our message to a certain degree as well.
This means at some point we’ve experienced or are currently experiencing the results we promise our clients.
This is not the case with all coaches and that is ultimately why I believe a lot of people are really salty with the industry right now. They’re tired of it.
For example, business coaches who rave about how much money they make and are touting their GROSS numbers, not their net. Or who leave out the crazy number of hours they work, but never miss an opportunity to post a picture with a laptop by a pool or a beach that says, “My office today” or something like it.
Here’s the thing, in some cases a lack of precision with language or congruency is the result of pure desire to help and excitement to share results like my friend above. In some cases, it is intentional manipulation.
So how do you discern the difference?
If you’re making a choice to invest your precious resources (time, energy, money) with someone – vet them and feel them out.
Here are four major considerations to help you do that:
1. Consider how you prefer to learn.
One on one or in a group?
Virtually so you can tune in at your own convenience?
In real time so you actually have to show up at a specific date and time?
In real life so you can actually BE WITH the human you’re working with whether that’s one on one or in a group?
There’s no right or wrong way IN GENERAL but there is a right way for you, now. And like a lot of things, because something has worked in the past doesn’t mean it will work again so always be checking in with yourself around these questions. Your answers may also vary from topic to topic.
2. Always always always tune into your body to make your decision.
The truth is always there, not on a pros and cons list. That may help you clear a few things out, but ultimately the decision will be an emotional one, so don’t ignore any feelings you have about making the choice.
Does it FEEL like a good fit?
Does talking to your potential coach/guide/healer, whatever they call themselves (because titles often don’t communicate an iota of the value the person actually has to offer you if it’s a right fit) make you FEEL like more of who you are or want to be?
Do you FEEL safe? heard? honored?
Does the person actually have a Life you’d want?
Do they walk their talk and live their message?
Is their way of being something you at the very least respect? and maybe even aspire to?
3. What’s the investment?
Does the investment feel on some level right to make?
Does it make you feel like, “Damn I really have to show up for this”?
A lot of people have real beef with how much some coaches charge. I am not one of those people. I believe price and time do not necessarily determine the value of what you’ll get out of the experience.
You actually determine that value yourself by your level of commitment to doing the work you’re signing up for.
Here’s a client example from my own business to illustrate this point:
A long time on and off client of mine since 2011 has had a number of different results over the years.
She’s learned how to listen to her body, trust her intuition, set boundaries and have courageous conversations. These skills which might sound a little vague or intangible have yielded these results:
-Improved health – for a while she was visiting doctor after doctor to figure out “what was wrong with her” and finally she starting listening to her body, improved her diet, stopped forcing herself to do workouts that were too intense, and took action to reduce the amount of stress in her Life. She rarely gets sick anymore.
-Better relationship with her husband. She’s much less attached to what he thinks or needing his approval and much better at loving him as he and not wanting him to change.
-Career upgrade. For years she’s been desiring a career with more autonomy. Just a few weeks ago, an employer with a beyond ideal opportunity contacted her out of the blue on LinkedIn and she just messaged me yesterday to say she got the job. She gets to make better hours, got a significant raise, and she gets to build out the idea she’s been dreaming about for years without having to assume the risks of starting her own business.
This may sound like it fabricated out of no where, but really, all of the effort she’s put into improving herself, all of her choices to keep moving forward, listening to her body’s wisdom, trusting it and asking for what she wants are why this opportunity appeared and of course why she got it.
Can you put a price tag on drastically improved health, a better marriage and a dream job?
I mean I guess you could tally up what she used to spend on medical bills and add up the new salary and assign a value to the extra free time she’s going to have, but none of that actually matches how incredibly proud she feels, the ease or the excitement and appreciation she has for her Life now.
So should you hire a coach?
I don’t know. I can’t possibly know what’s best for you without knowing you personally, which brings me to my last point.
Confidence is one thing. Negligence is quite another. – Click to Tweet
Beware of coaches who claim their methods or ways are better than any other FOR YOU, without taking the time to get to know you personally or what’s going on specifically in your Life.
My business coach Jesse made an analogy recently that really drove this point home for me. He said if a Doctor did this it would be considered malpractice. So why the hell do we treat it any less seriously when it occurs in other professions? (Which it does all the time).
SHOULD YOU HIRE ME?
It’d be pretty silly of me to not mention my own coaching after a whole entire post about the topic wouldn’t it?
After many months of feeling into how I can best serve clients 1:1, in groups, online and in real life, I’ve put together a solid menu of offerings.
If you’re wanting help with anything specific in your Life where you know (or suspect) being stuck in your head or a lack of trust in yourself, inability to connect to your body, The Divine, or communicate effectively with others could be at the root of it, I might be able to help you out.
Like I said above though, we can’t know that without having a conversation to feel out on both sides if we’re a good fit, so here’s the page where you can find my offerings. If anything piques your interest, fill out an application and we can go from there.
And even if I’m not the best choice for you, I will give you my best insights in our conversation on closing the gap between where you are right now and where you want to be.Should You Hire A Coach?