How I Make Important Life Decisions (and What’s The Difference Between Impulse and Intuition?)
I’m fired up today, wild loves, because I AM EXHAUSTED. Exhausted of the beliefs our society perpetuates around trust. Exhausted of women not choosing themselves and suffering the consequences. And exhausted from not taking as strong a stance about this as I can be.
That ends today.
This post isn’t just about making decisions. It’s about self-trust and standing up against the cultural programming women have towards denying their wants, needs, and desires, talking themselves out of their dreams, and settling for less than what they want under guises like,
“I should be grateful for what I have.”
“Other people have it way worse.”
To remind you, in the famous words of Marianne Williamson,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
And it’s time for you to start telling yourself the truth and honoring your truth, because your truth is your soul’s wisdom speaking through you. So every time you deny your truth or choose not to trust yourself, you are denying your own soul. If you think that practice doesn’t come with negative side effects, you are mistaken.
Today as I type this, it’s November 30, 2015. I’ve been fielding questions and emails about my Cyber Monday deals all day. I’ve also been interviewing applicants for the Untame Yourself Women’s Leadership Council for a little over a week, so the way women struggle to make decisions that honor their truths is top of mind and experience for me right now.
Instead of ranting about that though, I want to share how I honor my truth and use it to make important life decisions.
The answer is simple, the choice however, isn’t that easy because we’re simply not trained, practiced or experienced at it. In fact, further down in this post, I’ll share an insight with you that I had recently around how I failed to take my own advice in a few different ways this year and the price I paid for it.
Here’s what I do:
I LISTEN TO MY BODY.
Watch the video to learn how I do that (if you’ve read my book, Untame Yourself: Reconnect to the Lost Art, Power and Freedom of Being a Woman, you’re already familiar with this practice. Whether or not you’re using it, is another story.)
As I state in the video – it’s one thing to listen to your body, it’s another though, to TRUST it.
And this is how I make important life decisions. I trust what my body tells me. I do not go back up into my head and talk myself out of it (most of the time – no one is perfect!).
Here’s how I messed this up on several occasions in 2015:
I got a little cocky and assumed that listening to my body had become automatic for me. It hadn’t. I share that with you so you can give yourself a break as you practice and get more consistent with it too and inevitably mess up sometimes. We all drop the ball here and there and revert to old patterns or behaviors. You are not a failure, you just need to get back up and try again.
I also didn’t quite get the difference between “impulse” and “intuition.”
Impulse is a sudden strong and unreflective urge or desire to act. Key word…UNREFLECTIVE.
Intuition is a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.
I made some impulsive decisions this year. I felt the immediate impulse and didn’t take the time to pause, drop into my body and confirm whether or not that feeling was actually TRUE.
I am obviously a huge advocate of feeling into things versus just thinking about them. Like everything, feeling things out also has a shadow side. Sometimes those feelings are impulsive, not intuitive.
The price I paid was physical health and my energy. I found myself having to “push through” a lot this year. A practice I neither enjoy nor advocate. I wasn’t able to be as consistent with my own self-nourishment, specifically around exercise and food. I said yes to way to much travel, and I am just not the kind of person who eats well on the road or sticks to a regimen, so now I’m having to invest time into getting back to a base level that I could have easily maintained if I had taken the time to listen to my intuition, and not choose impulse.
And again, I share this with you because no one is above reproach. No one is perfect all of the time.
It’s not about perfection, it’s about choosing well more often than not.
So when you find yourself faced with important decisions, it’s worth the time to drop into your body (as demonstrated in the video above) and get the answers there. It only takes a few extra minutes, and what it saves us in the long run can be measured in time, dollars, and health, so it’s pretty silly not to.
I’ll give you one last example. Today I was on a call with an applicant for the Untame Yourself Women’s Leadership Council. Out of habit, at the end of the call, she was super interested in the program, pretty sure she wanted to do it, but asked if she could think about it. I offered to guide her through the Yes, No, Truth process to feel the answer. When we did that, the affirmative statement she ran through her body was, “I’m doing the leadership council” – her legs felt tingly, light and excited. A clear YES for her body.
When we flipped it and ran a negative statement through her body, “I am not doing the leadership council” she felt heavy and angry. A clear NO in her body. at that point I invited her to decide on the spot since clearly, she knew the answer.
So that’s my invitation for you today as well – if you have a decision you’re trying to make right now, that maybe you’re struggling with or overanalyzing, just stop it.
Everything you’ve ever needed has always been inside of you, that includes everything you need to know to make any decision.
The choices then become, will you allow yourself to tune into your body’s wisdom and then, will you trust yourself?