How To Let Things Go (For Good)
This is the third installment in a 10-part series I did through July 26 this year called Wild Soul Summer School. The purpose is to do a more thorough exploration of some of the topics that come up most consistently on the podcast. Each of these instructional blog posts has a corresponding Facebook Live video too, which you can find at the end of this post along with links to previous sessions if you want to explore the rest of the series.
I’ve also created a worksheet for you to help implement what you learn. This week’s worksheet is extra meaty and valuable because I KNOW this topic is something a lot of women in our community run into regularly.
Here’s what’s included in the worksheet:
-The Do’s and Don’ts of letting things go
-A four step process for dealing with the big emotions that come up while letting things go (anger, grief, sadness, fear, guilt, resentment, and shame)
-A guided forgiveness ritual
Click here for the worksheet.
WHY LET GO
Letting things go creates room on many levels in our lives (mental, emotional, physical and energetic) for the things that we want and that are meant for us.
While letting go is challenging for us as programmed, conditioned adults, it’s helpful to remember that it came naturally to us as children and therefore is in our primal nature. So in letting go, you’re not attempting to do anything you’re not fully equipped to do.
As we go through life picking up on the beliefs, “rules” and customs of the culture around us, we develop loads of needs to be right, and these are what prevent us from naturally and easily letting things go that are not in our highest and best.
This is why our minds tend to cling onto the details, circumstances, stories, and meaning-making, which makes letting things go for good much more challenging than it needs to be.
THE “SECRET” TO LETTING THINGS GO
The actual “secret” to letting things go is that the most relief and progress isn’t always about letting the actual “thing” go. But rather, about letting go of your attachment to the thing, what you make it mean, any judgments you have about it, and being hard on yourself through the process.
There are certain things that keep coming up so we can face them again as the more evolved, aware, conscious, knowledgeable and mature versions of ourselves.
In these cases it’s useful to see how far we’ve come and how much better we handle things the next time. Letting go happens in layers over the course of time (like peeling back the layers of an onion).
One of the ways to make your letting go extra effective is to include forgiveness work. A lot of people feel initial resistance to forgiveness because they mistakenly assume it means letting people off the hook for bad behavior or choices.
That’s not the case.
One of my favorite quotes about forgiveness states, “Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.” (I’d love to tell you who said it, but I don’t know, I saw it in a frame in a bathroom at the Integratron in Joshua Tree, CA about two years ago).
Truly the practice is about reclaiming your power and energy that you’ve given away to people and situations. It’s not to say you’re OK with what happened, just that you’re no longer going to let it have such an impact on your day to day life, energy, emotions and interactions with others.
On an energetic level, forgiveness is almost like magic. You will be shocked (and maybe you’ve experienced this before), at how many things shift once you’ve cleared up your emotional charge around certain things as you let them go.
In the Facebook Live video below, I walk you through 15 the dos and don’ts of letting things go for good and the simple (doesn’t necessarily mean easy!) four step process to deal with the big emotions that come up as you do.
For those who are more visual learners and need to see things in writing, download the worksheet that goes with this post, which also includes the dos and don’ts, the four step process for dealing with the big emotions that come up while letting things go (anger, grief, sadness, fear, guilt, resentment, and shame), and a guided forgiveness ritual.
Download it here.
Finally, if this is the first Wild Soul Summer School session you’re catching and you want to check out the rest, here’s the links to do so:
Got questions or comments? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
EHow To Let Things Go (For Good)