Why Getting Pissed Off At The Fitness Industry Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me (Part II)
In Part I I wrote about the business side of the story. This is the personal part.
I had trouble writing this because I’m over it. Meaning I’ve healed the stories, the limiting beliefs and all the “stuff” associated with the personal part of this. Going back and drudging it up for some reason didn’t feel fantastic, so I went to sleep on it and woke up at 4:48am with what I wanted to say.
The most important part of the story was when I made the choice to stop listening to everyone else and start listening to my body.
The first thing I did was I stop working out.
That part was hard. I’ve been working out since I was 12. I wasn’t a chubby kid or anything, that’s just the year TLC’s album CrazySexyCool came out and I was inspired by their abs.
I no longer had any desire to throw around weights though – and that was a death of sorts at the time because working out was a huge part of who I was.
It was extra hard because I was still coaching around fitness, so I was teaching something I was no longer practicing. And even though I still believed in it for others, my clients still got results and people enjoyed my YouTube videos, that didn’t feel aligned for me.
Living my message is really important to me.
But it was undeniable, I was on a mission to soften in every way.
In my heart, ego, compassion, and in my body.
I knew my old way of working out was a very masculine approach, and also very fear-based, rooted in doing. It was time to meet and integrate my long dormant feminine energy. I knew she was in there, I just didn’t know how to let her shine.
Over the course of about two years, I let my hard earned muscles melt away and embraced my natural curves. I used to sell “Tighter in 10 Days” and not-so-suddenly I was enjoying a softer physique. That was a bit of an identity crisis. For more than half my life I’d been pursuing abs of steel, super cut arms and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. That was my former definition of a “perfect body.”
Part of me wondered if I had to know what it felt like to not be the girl with the bangin’-est body so I could relate better to the women I serve.
I still don’t know.
Either way, here’s what’s true:
I had to get a bit uncomfortable in my skin to really fully love my whole self.
I’d spent my whole life putting the love on the outside stuff, when it was the inside stuff that really needed it.
I can tell you with certainty now, that is the best feeling in the damn world.
Complete unwavering love for yourself no matter what.
Even in the face of other people not thinking I’m in as great shape as I should be – a comment I’ve received more than once over the last two years. That’s their stuff, not mine.
And the biggest gift is getting to do it on my own terms, not because some magazine told me to or some online fitness trainer with better abs than me is preaching that xyz workout is the MOST EFFECTIVE thing out there.
My body knows best. She runs the show.
In a conversation with my friend Nisha a few weeks ago she said something I loved, “I would never consider letting my mind override my body again.” Perfect. Me either.
And normally I’m not one for “shoulds” but neither should you.
And if you’re reading this thinking, “Sounds great, Elizabeth but I don’t know how to quiet my thoughts and get into my body.”
I do. That’s the purpose of Wild Soul Movement.
To lead you through an experience to get to know yourself intimately.
To trust, love and respect your body.
To find your way home.
To set you free on your own terms.Why Getting Pissed Off At The Fitness Industry Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me (Part II)