Engagement Agreements + Code of Conduct
These agreements and this code apply to our online (virtual) School and any gatherings or events we hold in person. Everything we do when we’re together, no matter where we are or how we’re connecting is offered with the same standards of reverence, respect, care, and maturity, and we expect our students to respond in kind.
The purpose of this document is to be clear about how to participate and show up in The School of Sacred Embodiment as a community member. This means for your own benefit and the benefit of everyone involved. This promotes healthy communication, inclusivity, and spaces that are as safe and brave as possible within as diverse a group of people as we are. We are also aiming to replace the type of entitlement and taking up of space that systems of oppression and supremacy have instilled in all of us and replace them with liberatory values.
We operate under the assumption that no one intends to do harm and everyone is willing to be accountable if or when they do. That said, don’t stress about missing an agreement here and there. If you “mess up” we’ll correct it.
If you ever have an issue with something I, anyone on my team, or another member in the space says or does, you’re not only welcome but encouraged to contact us to address it. We are into taking and facilitating accountability and repair around here, and we know how to do both.
If or when we ever refer you back to this document to adjust your behavior or how you’re participating in the community, know we’re not mad at you, judging you, shaming you, or anything like that. We’re just reminding you because most of us are out here healing from cultures rooted in hyper-individualism and we’re always learning, practicing, and remembering how to be in community.
Everything herein applies to EVERYBODY in this School: students, teachers, staff, guest mentors, and of course, me too (Elizabeth). Any behavior that falls outside of the standards outlined in this document may result in removal from the space, event, or container you’re participating in without a refund, unless you’re within a refund window. However, removal is and always will be a very last resort when someone shows us they’re unwilling to do their part. And, of course, we’re happy to address and repair any conflicts that occur before removing people.
PURPOSE: Everything we offer at The School of Sacred Embodiment is designed to reweave the wild and the sacred into a forgetful world. Sharing, learning, growing, and connecting is what we’re here to do together. Make yourself at home and bring all your questions when appropriate – from the simple ones you feel silly asking to the super deep, mystical, vulnerable, or esoteric, depending on what container you’re in. If you’re ever unsure if something is welcome or appropriate in a space, ask us privately before sharing or posting.
1. BE IN CONSIDERATE AND BE IN COMMUNITY: Don’t just show up, share or ask questions when you need something and be mindful when you do share about how you engage and take up space. (More on this in the Healthy Sharing agreement) Carry yourself with mindfulness and awareness of the variety of identities and lived experiences in a diverse community. Consider your positionality in society and what identities you hold when you engage, especially if you’re in a dominant or privileged group / your identity is considered “the norm” or “ideal” – white, cisgendered, able-bodied, straight, neurotypical, partnered, with kids, of a certain level of education or socio-economic status, etc. What we mean by being mindful is don’t assume your lived experience relates to everybody, do your best to acknowledge when it might not, and know that we aim to not make anyone feel “other” in our spaces.
2. PRIVACY + CONFIDENTIALITY: Your own experience is your own experience and that, of course, is yours to share freely however you choose outside of this forum. Sharing others’ stories, posts, or anything else that occurs inside the event or online space you’re in, outside of it without explicit consent from Elizabeth and/or the parties involved is an absolute No-No.
Note from Elizabeth: Because I am about EMBODIMENT – which is rooted in practice and lived experience, sometimes my experiences include snippets or anecdotes from things that happen in my work. Your privacy and safety is my priority and I will ALWAYS protect that by not using your name or including any identity-revealing details when I talk about my experiences publicly.
3. SCOPE OF PRACTICE: Our work is very complementary to trauma healing, therapy, recovery, and other forms of treatments for trauma, mental or emotional distress and illness, but it is not a substitute for any of that. Students should be in a solid place on these fronts before participating in our work as supporting individuals who are in any kind of highly sensitive, volatile, or unstable condition is out of our scope of practice.
4. KEEP YOUR POWER AND FOCUS ON THE WORK AT HAND:
We ask you to engage with the teachings in the School with the conscious awareness that everything we do is rooted in our values, which are: Joy, Love, Liberation, Peace, and Prosperity. See exactly how we define these values here – https://untameyourself.com/about. We’re here to get free together and weave a more sacred world into being. Please keep the work about the work. There’s no need to put anyone on a pedestal, overly praise, or love bomb people. All of those things are forms of projecting your power. No one is better than anyone else in our spaces, even those who sit in the teacher’s seat. Remember that anything you really appreciate or admire about a teacher or facilitator, any wisdom you’re inspired by, is only recognizable because it’s within you, too.
5. TREAT EVERYTHING AS AN EXPERIMENT:
We don’t do dogma here. There will likely be things you don’t resonate with, things you love, and things that serve you better at some times than others. The only way to find out is to conduct your own experiments. Try things out. Stick with what works. Ditch what doesn’t, and let it be a reminder to you of how differently we’re all built when others really love things you don’t or vice versa. We’re not into overt OR covert peer pressure.
6. HEALTHY SHARING: First off, don’t let this agreement make you feel self-conscious about sharing things, just be self-aware. We want you to feel empowered to care for yourself and consider your Wild Soul fam, too. This is community care. Here are some helpful pointers for healthy sharing:
-Let us know at the beginning of the post if you are just sharing, need a witness, or have a request for advice, prayers, care bear stares, support, etc – Sometimes you won’t know until you’re finished writing the post – in that case, go back to the top and add what you need once you’re clear. It’s best to put this at the beginning of the post, not the end.
-Context for healthy sharing – you might feel overwhelmed, be triggered, or in a super reactive state, but you take a moment to cut your cords and ground yourself before sharing. This prevents emotional dumping – when you’re super overwhelmed and sharing is a way to “discharge” because you’re in a triggered or super reactive state, which might make you feel better but is not considerate of the people here in the space.
7. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY: This relates to healthy sharing but is a little more specific – Wild Soul people tend to be amazing at this, so this is just a light reminder to “check yourself before you wreck yourself” and please pay attention to what’s coming up for you as you engage.
– Do your best not to project your own experiences or situation onto others. It’s always best to ask rather than assume or read into what people are posting.
– If something triggers you, take a moment (or many moments) to ride the waves of your own emotions before responding or sharing. Good communication doesn’t usually happen when we’re feeling super charged in the heat of a moment.
– Do your best to speak in the first person when making personal shares. Use “I'” not “you” or “we” …this is important for staying in your own experience and not putting *your stuff* on anyone in the group. Instead of saying something like, “You know how we?” or “When you do…” When really you’re talking about yourself. Example to use instead: “I notice when I…”
8. HONOR THE ORIGINATOR OF THE IDEAS AND INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY : (that includes Elizabeth and any guest mentors or instructors). You may quote things any time with proper attribution and consent. You may not use anything presented without consent or written permission and the same goes for recording and sharing anything outside of the event or space you’re participating in. This includes all concepts, practices, exercises, and materials.
Elizabeth offers an Embodiment Specialist training for those who wish to share and use the concepts, methods, frameworks, and modalities, and if you want to use any of those in any professional capacity, the training is the way to do that. This agreement is mainly to ensure people aren’t taking what they learn in here and integrating it into their own work or content without training and without asking.
9. ALWAYS SUPPORT, CELEBRATE + WITNESS, DO NOT OFFER UNSOLICITED ADVICE OR OPINIONS: Please do not offer each other unsolicited advice or opinions. I want you to know you can share things in here, vent, or just be seen without having to get all kinds of advice you don’t want or didn’t ask for. It’s totally cool to ask clarification questions if you don’t understand something or are confused by anything shared in here, see what kind of experiences other people are having, or ask for relevant recommendations. And if you want to receive advice or guidance – your questions are welcome anytime and explicitly asking for what you need is the way to go.
-Examples of ways to be clear when you don’t need advice:
“I just want to share what’s coming up for me, not looking for any advice.”
“I’d love some celebration on this post if you’ve got a moment!”
-Examples of ways to be clear when you would like advice or input:
“I could really use some advice on this…”
“I’m wondering if anyone else can relate or has experienced…xyz too?”
-Great ways to respond when people share things, rather than chiming in with your advice or opinion are:
“Thank you for sharing!”
“I hear you!”
“I can totally relate.”
“I support you.”
10. BE INCLUSIVE WITH YOUR LANGUAGE: (h/t to my dear friend Nisha Moodley for helping me word this one in 2018) It’s important to be considerate and inclusive towards our trans sisters; sisters of different ages, abilities, races, and economic backgrounds; sisters from different countries; sisters with different sexual orientations, etc.
Not all women have wombs or bleed every month.
Not all women date men.
Not all women have the privilege to take time off work or get childcare.
-Here are some suggestions for ways to address the community:
Wild Souls/ Folks / Everyone / All / Friends / Fellow Humans / Beautiful People …etc
11. POST READABILITY: It’s really hard to read a giant chunk of text with no spaces for some people more than others. If your post or comment is long, break it up into paragraphs. This also increases the likelihood that it gets read and engaged with by others 🙂
12. NO BUSINESS/SELF PROMOTION: I know a lot of you are also coaching/healing/helping professionals and leaders, too. This just isn’t the space for you to get clients, customers, or followers. This agreement keeps the space feeling safe-as-possible, sacred, and clean. People can post, share, and ask things without having to risk being sold something. This also helps us practice a huge tenet of being a #wildsoul – the belief that if something is meant for you you absolutely can’t miss out on it. That includes clients, relationships, and everything else you can imagine.
Of course, there may be times when people’s work and what they do comes up naturally as part of a conversation – that’s different. Don’t feel like you have to hide what you do – just don’t lead with it like a “networking” event. That feels yucky.
DIGITAL SPACE ONLY-
1. ADD A PERSONALIZED PROFILE PIC: If we were gathering in community in real life, we would all be able to see each other.
Even with pandemic masks or culturally related face-coverings, we’d see an actual person before us. In digital space, the profile pic is the best we can do, so even if you don’t want to add a pic of yourself, my ask is that you add a pic of something you appreciate that represents you. Could be a pet, a naturescape, an animal, a flower, a quote… be as creative as you want!
2. DM THE SACRED EMBODIMENT TEAM IN MIGHTY NETWORKS FOR TECH OR ADMIN QUESTIONS. DO NOT MAKE A POST ABOUT IT:
If you need to know what time a class or call is, always look under EVENTS or GATHERINGS – upcoming classes and calls will always be posted there.
If your experience is not taking place in Mighty Networks, please email us at email@example.com