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EP107: Alison Armstrong on The Queen’s Code


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I’ve said this before – I don’t fan girl often over guests, but when I do it’s because someone’s work has literally changed my life. In today’s interview I chat with Alison Armstrong, author of The Queen’s Code (a book that helps women that shook me up and rocked my world back in February), and several other courses and books that help men and women understand each other better and enjoy more satisfying partnerships. I asked her all the questions many of you have expressed about her work in comments, messages and on group calls since I personally dove into her work and started sharing my own experience. Ironically we also got interrupted by men in my house during the interview – watch what comes up when that happens and enjoy!

About Alison Armstrong:

Alison Armstrong is a sought-after speaker in the areas of gender differences, well-being, empowerment, sexuality and relationships. She is the author of The Queen’s Code and creator the widely acclaimed “Queen’s Code” workshop series, plus a host of other products and programs designed to foster understanding and further partnership between men and women.

In Alison’s own words, “I’m passionate about Partnership. I want to know everything about this paradigm – this magic that can happen between people. What makes a partnership possible, what makes one brilliant, what destroys a partnership, what expands the power of partnership. Everything I study and distinguish is to give greater access to the phenomenon of partnership.

“This is why I’ve spent so much time on male/female and masculine/feminine dynamics. The misunderstandings and misinterpretations between testosterone-based and estrogen-based creatures (usually known as men and women, but not always) devastate lives, destroy families, and put our dreams of love and fulfillment out of reach. And that’s just in the personal, romantic domain. Apply these misconceptions to education, work and community, and the real consequences of fundamentally not understanding each other are exponentially worse.”

Information about Alison’s work is available at

In this episode, Alison shares:

1. Understanding men and the ways women turn princes into frogs (often devastatingly AND unknowingly)
2. Clearing up how everything isn’t the woman’s responsibility even though it feels that way sometimes
3. Woman’s innate ability to inspire men AND non-manipulatively get what they want as a result

What You’ll Hear:

3:40 The experience of The Queen’s Code
10:52 Navigating the forgiveness of shame and guilt around your past treatment of men
15:07 The intricacies of emasculation and objectification
21:50 How we are deeply affected by criticism
26:55 The four layers of protection that men have that prevent them from acting upon criticism
35:25 When you’re feeling like you have to do all the work
40:16 Understanding why women don’t trust men

Click here to watch/listen or scroll upward to listen only:

The Queen’s Code
My Rude (Royal) Awakening
Susana Frioni On Love, Sex, Desire (Mostly Sex)

You May Also Like:
Andy Drish And An Electric Conversation About Romantic Partnership
Nicole Moore On Dating, Love, And How To Be On Your Own Side
How To Be A More Loving, Effective, And Compassionate Communicator

Get your copy of the Untame Yourself book on Amazon!

How was this episode for you?
Was this episode helpful for you today? I’d love to know what quote or lesson touched your soul. Let me know in the comments below!


EP107: Alison Armstrong on The Queen’s Code