Do you see people talking about self love all the time and wonder, but how do you love and accept yourself?


Or get caught up in memes that sound smart or profound but don’t get how to actually apply them?

That’s how a lot of people approach self love – like it’s a thing you will eventually attain if you just focus on it – but here in the EMBODIED Living world, we know it takes more than that. This is why people call me a practical mystic. I’m into all kinds of energy work, psychological study, archetypes, mythology and esoteric shit – AND!! We’re still people. We need to be able to apply what we’re learning, integrate it into our lives and actually use it to shift, change, grow, heal and evolve.

This is the first episode in an 8-episode series where I’ll be guiding you through my EMBODIED Self Love Framework. The framework will help you with self-confidence, embodiment,  real love, loving yourself, trusting yourself, accepting yourself, cultivating healthy love in relationships and so much more.

We’ll take a really thorough look at what it means to have self love, how to develop self love, examples of self love, and why self love is so important.

Self love touches so many areas of our lives when we actively engage in it. Like bell hooks teaches, love is something you do, it’s a verb.


Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS | Stitcher

Notes from Episode 338 of the Embodied Podcast with Elizabeth DiAlto


  • Common self-love teachings and misconceptions that I don’t agree with like: “You can’t love others until you love yourself.” Or the flip side of that, “You won’t get the love you want until you love yourself.”
  • How we learn to love by being in relationship and self love is about developing a relationship with ourselves.
  • The mass confusion of what love is and what it is not; this includes how a lot of our messaging and examples are rooted in codependency, not love.
  • An overview of what the rest of the series will cover: Self Awareness, Self Knowledge, Self Acceptance, Self Trust, Self Respect…and then something I know this audience loves – a whole entire episode on boundaries. And not just healthy boundaries with others, but also how to have healthy boundaries with yourself.
  • Wrap up – where I’m at on my own self love journey right now.

In this episode of the embodied podcast we discuss how to love and accept yourself


  • [2:52] The focus of this season around the EMBODIED self love framework that I developed
  • [3:12] The 5 principles of my framework
  • [7:11] Common self love teachings that I don’t agree with and misconceptions about them
  • [10:13] How developing self love isn’t just a state
  • [11:15] Why you should be curious when you have resistance to something
  • [14:04] The importance of self awareness and being mindful of how you’re showing up
  • [15:19] How self knowledge answers the question: Who am I and how am I built?
  • [17:27] Why you need gentleness for yourself and others
  • [19:13] The reasons that self trust is critical for following your inner truth
  • [20:15] How you can’t have love without self respect
  • [21:05] Where I am at on my own self love journey
  • [24:25] A talk I participated in that inspired the Embodied Self Love Mini Course

Resources for how to love and accept yourself


Quotes from this Week’s Episode on how to love and accept yourself


  • “When we are developing true, honest real self love, it’s just like our love for other people. Sometimes you love your kids, sometimes you can’t stand them. You might love your partner. Sometimes you can’t stand them. We can develop deep love for ourselves and sometimes not be able to stand ourselves.”
  • “This idea that we can’t have real love with others first, that’s just not it. We learn how to love in relationships and through connection with other people. We need these mirrors, we need these reflections.”
  • “Sometimes we need to be loved so deeply and so well by other people who have beautiful relationships to love so we can see how it’s done.”
  • “Our love for ourselves will sometimes be up and down the same way our love for other people is sometimes up and down.”
  • “We’re building a relationship with ourselves that’s rooted and based in love. It’s a living breathing thing.”
  • “Developing self love is not just going to be a state, it’s not just going to be a thing you arrive at. It’s active, it’s something you do.”
  • “For some of us it might be easier to give love out than to send it in, so it’s going to be a practice.”
  • “You’re not going to shame, punish, blame or guilt yourself into a better relationship with yourself.”

How was this episode for you?

Was this episode helpful for you today? I’d love to know what quote or lesson touched your soul. Let me know in the comments below OR share the episode on Instagram, tag me your stories @elizabethdialto, or send me a DM!

About the Embodied Podcast with Elizabeth DiAlto

Since 2013 I’ve been developing a body of work that helps women embody self-love, healing, and wholeness. We do this by focusing on the four levels of consciousness – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

In practical terms, this looks like exploring tools and practices to help you tune into the deep wisdom of the body and the knowing of the heart, which I believe are gateways to our souls. Then we cultivate a new relationship with our minds that allows the mind to serve this wisdom and knowledge and soul connection, rather than override it, which is what many of us were taught.

The show runs in seasons now and this season we’re focusing on my EMBODIED Self Love Framework.

We’ll be looking at Self Awareness, Self Knowledge, Self Acceptance, Self Trust, and Self Respect – with a bonus episode on Boundaries as well.

If you’ve been doing self-help or spiritual development work for a while, these are the types of foundational things that often people overlook in pursuit of fancier concepts that often aren’t practical or sustainable. Here, we will focus on building these strong foundations so you can honestly and thoroughly embody self-love. If you’re feeling it, subscribe to the show, and leave us a review wherever you listen from. You can also keep up with show updates and community discussions on Instagram here.