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Whenever I go to events or conferences, I don’t try to meet the most people, I try to meet the right people. It’s usually just one to three people and today’s guest was one of those people from an event I attended in 2018, Nikki Innocent.
Nikki’s big truth was around it being the right time and place right now for anyone to be here, in this particular vessel, creating change in one way or another.
From there we talked about bearing witness to other people’s stories, what it brings up for us and how to be with discomfort when it arises.
We’re also both communication nerds so we spent a good bit of time getting into the difference between tone policing and methodology, self-policing, the many polarities we live in, cancel culture, what progress actually looks like and conversations stoppers, deflection tactics and accountability.
We talked about the components of a real, effective apology and how to embrace and show up as who we are now as we grow.
If you’re a fan of nuance, context and complexity, you’re going to love this one. Share it up and let us know what lands for you!
xo,
E
About Guest Nikki Innocent:
Nikki Innocent is a keynote speaker, humanity activist and social entrepreneur with a focus on women’s leadership and diversity & inclusion. She is the host of the podcast Checkbox Other that explores the experience of being an “other,” the dynamics of belonging and the process of embracing your authentic self. Nikki’s mission is to bring people together through shared humanity and story while challenging the status quo, confronting & dismantling divisive rhetoric and shining a light on how we can each lean into our strengths to lead our best lives.
Connect with Nikki:
Website | Instagram | Facebook
What You’ll Hear:
7:45 How Elizabeth and Nikki met
11:34 How Nikki feels in her body
12:55 A truth that’s having an impact on Nikki’s life right now
15:36 How being biracial had an impact in Nikki’s self-identity
19:47 Taking the time to understand why something is making you feel so passionate
24:51 Why Elizabeth canceled her membership to Equinox
27:20 What tone policing is
31:08 How tone policing comes out in conversations about race
35:45 Diving into the discomfort rather than shaming yourself
38:20 Bringing more men back onto the podcast in 2020
42:29 Taking responsibility for your actions and words and the impact they have on the world
47:17 The fear of speaking out due to cancel culture
50:26 What Nikki’s podcast is about and her experience of being a biracial woman
58:23 How your story might change and evolve as you heal
01:02:41 Giving yourself time and space to understand where your story is coming from
01:05:08 How Nikki is integrating embodiment into her work
01:11:00 Having an allergic reaction and realizing she had abandoned her ability to trust her body
01:14:22 Breaking down the mental barriers that you’ve created
Resources:
- More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)
- EP171: Bethany Webster On Healing The Mother Wound
- I Am Not My Socialization with Dr. Tee Williams
- Checkbox Other with Nikki Innocent
- Break the Rules in Life, Then Re-write Your Own | Nikki Innocent | TEDxBU
Click here to watch/listen or scroll upward to listen only:
Quotes:
“Your existence is meant to be at the time it happens, at the place it happens and at the vessel of you with which it happens.” – Nikki Innocent
“Sharing your experience and living your life as fully as you are able is transformative.” – Nikki Innocent
“You become more compassionate about the experience when you see yourself doing it.” – Nikki Innocent
“Be a little bit more forgiving of yourself.” – Nikki Innocent
“This life that we live is a journey and we’re always learning and always making mistakes.” – Nikki Innocent
“There is something so important in taking accountability for the impact that your words and actions have in the world.” – Nikki Innocent
“Accountability and responsibility are so important .” – Nikki Innocent
“It’s creating that space for stories to really create transformation and change.” – Nikki Innocent
“This life that we have is a journey from start to finish .” – Nikki Innocent
You May Also Like:
- EP291: Distinctions In Leadership, Story Telling And Transparency With Keisha Shields
- EP 310: Leadership And Community Care With Nisha Moodley
Get your copy of the Untame Yourself book on Amazon!
How was this episode for you?
Was this episode helpful for you today? I’d love to know what quote or lesson touched your soul. Let me know in the comments below!