What if instead of giving in to fear, resentment and regret, you cultivated faith?
Questions have been coming up recently related to these topics in my community and it got me thinking about how they all relate.
In today’s episode, we’re talking about fear, faith, resentment, and regret.
I’m covering where the fear stems from and how to consciously choose faith even when fear starts to creep in.
I talk about the indicators of resentment and regret and what they often mean about where you’ve spread yourself too thin.
Join me in today’s episode as we discuss how to move past the objections of fear, regret and resentment so you can have breakthroughs and live within your highest, most fulfilling and abundant potential.
Listen to episode 386 now!
In episode 386 of the Embodied Podcast we discuss:
- [1:20] Seemingly random but related topics coming up recently in my client calls
- [4:43] What fear is rooted in and how to choose faith instead
- [5:37] Self-reflection on the past to find proof that you can trust yourself
- [8:09] How resentment is an indicator that you’ve over-given
- [9:45] Why you might need to have a discernment inventory to see where resentment is coming from
- [12:05] The common indicator for regret
- [17:32] The phenomenon of positively projecting your own qualities onto other people
- [18:39] How to resolve regret through trust and self-trust
Resources mentioned by Elizabeth in the episode “Partnering with the Divine with Antesa Jensen”:
- Sacred Embodiment Rituals
- Drop in on an embodiment class with me at the Serpent and Rose Studio
- Wild Soul Sacred Body Community
- Episode 374 – My Mystical Initiation
- Check out The Embodied Living Center
- Email us with questions or feedback
- Don’t miss an episode of The Embodied Podcast
Quotes from this Week’s Episode of the Embodied Podcast:
“The best isn’t always what we wanted. Sometimes what we wanted for ourselves is coming from our ego desires, not our soul desires.” – Elizabeth
“The point at which you feel resentful, it’s because you’ve given or you’ve done or you’ve overextended yourself too much.” – Elizabeth
“Some of us are optimistic and we like to give people unearned benefits of the doubt.” – Elizabeth
How was this episode for you?
Was this episode helpful for you today? I’d love to know what quote or lesson touched your soul. Let me know in the comments below OR share the episode on Instagram, tag me your stories @elizabethdialto, or send me a DM!
About the Embodied Podcast with Elizabeth DiAlto
Since 2013 I’ve been developing a body of work that helps women embody self-love, healing, and wholeness. We do this by focusing on the four levels of consciousness – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
In practical terms, this looks like exploring tools and practices to help you tune into the deep wisdom of the body and the knowing of the heart, which I believe are gateways to our souls. Then we cultivate a new relationship with our minds that allows the mind to serve this wisdom and knowledge and soul connection, rather than override it, which is what many of us were taught.
If you’ve been doing self-help or spiritual development work for a while, these are the types of foundational things that often people overlook in pursuit of fancier concepts that often aren’t practical or sustainable. Here, we will focus on building these strong foundations so you can honestly and thoroughly embody self-love. If you’re feeling it, subscribe to the show, and leave us a review wherever you listen from. You can also keep up with show updates and community discussion on Instagram here.
Transcript for Episode 386 “On Fear, Faith, Resentment, and Regret“:
Hello, everybody. Welcome to the ‘Embodied Podcast” in 2022. I am your host, Elizabeth DiAlto, and since 2013, I have been teaching women how to harness the power of their sacred bodies and free their wild souls. This podcast became a big part of that work when we launched in 2015 and what listeners consistently share that they love about the show is how we always aim to address, synthesize, and integrate the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of not just healing, but finding self-love, wholeness, and liberation. This show is available on all podcast players and YouTube and our show notes pages, which you can find at untameyourself.com/podcast, include minute markers and transcripts. If you’re a note taker or it’s just helpful for you to see things in writing, head on over there and check it out. And thank you so, so much for listening. Your time, energy and attention is valuable and precious and I appreciate that you’d focus any of it here with me and our guests. Let’s get into the show.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode number 386 of the “Embodied Podcast.” Today, we’re getting into just a couple of seemingly random things that are totally related that have been coming up a lot in my client calls lately and that made me want to share it with all of you here in case the insights would be useful or helpful to you as well. So the first thing many of you know, if you’ve been listening to this podcast, I don’t really let an episode go by anymore without mentioning my beloved Caroline Myss, and something that I was listening to in her advanced energy anatomy audio struck me recently, like within the last few weeks at the time I’m recording this, struck me as just one of the most simple yet profound insights that anyone who’s been on like a healing, growth, or transformational path can certainly relate to. And what she said is, when we make a choice out of fear, that is not right or wrong, right? It’s not something you have to beat yourself up about. We all do it sometimes. When you make a choice out of fear, what you’re also choosing is to learn something in a specific way because making choices, excuse me, making choices out of fear or letting fear take the driver’s seat or run our lives is never the most aligned thing, right? It’s never the highest choice, but it is a choice and that’s okay.
But when we make choices out of fear, inevitably, we are basically signing up to learn some kind of a lesson. Like, this one profound little point, I loved so much, especially at the time that I heard it a few weeks ago because I was having this experience of essentially really seeing the results of making many, many, many, many choices in the last year of my own life from faith and not fear. Like, of course, there were things that I could’ve been afraid of and there were things, but I chose faith because I was getting and receiving and tapping in and really listening and focusing on getting the highest guidance available to me rooted in faith, faith that I would be taken care of, faith that it was something bigger at play than what I could see in front of my face at the moment. And I don’t wanna use the word rewarded because I don’t feel like that’s necessarily a reward because if that’s a reward, then when we choose out of fear, that makes that a punishment and that’s not what it is, but when we make choices from faith, things will just go differently and better, right?
And not always in a linear fashion, but ultimately, outcomes are just gonna be better because we’re choosing from believing and handing it over to something bigger and greater than us and something in us knows that the courage is really gonna pay off. Whereas fear, when we’re making choices out of fear, I’m not talking about like survival fear. Like, don’t step into the middle of the street when it’s a green light. I don’t mean like that. You all know what I mean when I say fear. Fear’s rooted in the basic things that humans are afraid of, right? I’m gonna be alone, or I’m not enough, or I’m too much, or, you know, these types of things, things related to our wounds rather than our wisdom. So I loved that little profound point and it made me really reflect on areas in my life where I have made choices out of fear in the past. And so something I’ve been teaching and talking about for years, trust is a big part of my self-liberation framework and specifically self-trust is a big part. It’s the fourth pillar in my self, my “Embodied” self-love framework. And often, when I’m teaching people how to trust themselves, one of the first things I offer is to reflect back on the past, to find proof that you can and that you should trust yourself. And we do this by looking at two things.
The first thing is times when you have listened to your intuition and it worked out, which by the way, y’all, you’d be hard pressed to find a time when you listened to your intuition and things didn’t work out. And when I say work out, I mean ultimately, worked out for the best, which by the way, the best isn’t always what we wanted, right? Because sometimes what we are wanting for ourselves is coming from our ego desires, not our soul’s desires, so sometimes what we want for ourselves is not what’s actually best. And so when we reflect back and we think about times when we heard, noticed, perceived our intuition and we were probably like afraid to trust it, but for whatever reason, we found the courage and we did, things always go, in a way, that are best for you versus when you reflect back on times when you had your intuition and ignored it or overwrote it or chose to do something different, those things never go well. Again, they go in some kind of way, which is reflecting back to the fear thing that we started this episode out with, right? Because when we override our intuition, it’s because we are afraid. We’re afraid to trust ourselves. We’re afraid that we could possibly know better for ourselves than somebody else or something else or convention tells us we should, right? But of course, we always can. And often, intuition is going to lead us in a direction that would not be necessarily what’s expected or the most conventional, especially if you listen to this podcast because most of us are here to be the people in our families and in our communities who break old, outdated patterns, habits, buck against systems, and all kinds of things like that. So I hope that’s making sense so far.
And so here’s the next place where I wanna take this. Something else that came up in several conversations this week, was about both regret and resentment. And something I’ve been saying for years is that resentment is always an indicator that you’ve already over given. Like, at the point at which you feel resentful, it’s because you’ve given, or you’ve done, or you’ve overextended yourself too much, right? I mean, overextended, too much is built into that phrase. So you’ve overextended or you’ve given or done too much, more than was appropriate for you to give and it’s not in a reciprocal way, right? Because when we’re giving of ourselves ’cause we’re just generous, but there’s some kind of reciprocity, even if it’s not like a tit for tat, right? But if there’s some kind of reciprocity in that, it was so satisfying and it was so fulfilling to have given what we gave or done what we did, then that that is the reciprocal energy. That’s the energy that comes back to us, right? But when there’s not even that, when it’s not fulfilling, when it really isn’t super beneficial, we just end up feeling resentful. So, resentment is always an indicator that we’ve over given.
And how do you then solve or correct that? You gotta be more discerning, you gotta look at where you’re saying yes when you really wanna say no, or holding back when you’d really would like to say yes, but you’re not for whatever reason, and you probably also need some boundaries, whether it’s self-boundaries, boundaries with yourself, excuse me, or to have better boundaries with other people. You need to do like a discernment inventory and go, oh okay, where am I not really in alignment with the things that I’m signing myself up for, or saying yes to, or agreeing to do? Or maybe it’s the timelines, right? Maybe you’re agreeing to like rush something that you don’t really wanna rush. So, that’s resentment. And then the other thing that’s been coming up is regret. And the reason I bring up the resentment thing is because I have new context to put regret into that’s similar to that context that we just put resentment into.
Quick break in the show, everybody, to direct your attention towards three new things that I have for you. The first is some free morning and evening sacred embodiment rituals. If you go to untameyourself.com/rituals, you can get your gorgeous hands on those rituals. It is a 33-page ebook with some prayers, some playlist recommendations, serpent meditation, an energetic attunement to the frequency of love using the imagery of a rose. It’s just really juicy, so you definitely wanna check that out. As well, you can now drop in and take an embodiment class with me every single week at the Serpent & Rose Studio. So if you wanna check out the schedule, go to untameyourself.com/studio for that. And if you live here in or around Miami, I am teaching twice a month locally in Miami, so make sure you check the schedule for Miami classes. And then last but not least, if you are looking for a grown-up, grounded, sensual, supportive, inclusive container and community to do your healing and transformation and growth work in, make sure you check out the Wild Soul Sacred Body Community. That is my year-long container for all of that. And you can visit that at untameyourself.com/wssb as in Wild Soul Sacred Body. All of that stuff can also be found at the show notes page or at the link in my bio on the Instagram profile. So, now you know everything we got going on. Back to the episode.
Regret is typically always an indication that we have overridden our intuition, that we didn’t listen to ourselves, or that we didn’t trust ourselves, right? Because when do we feel regret or what does regret feel like? We regret that things went a certain way, or that we did something, or that we said something, or that something happened a certain way, right? And so when you look back on the choices that you were involved in around the things that you regret ’cause certainly we can regret things that happen to others, so I’m talking about like the regret you feel in your own life. When you feel that, at the root of it, if you go to the root, root, root, root, root, root, what’s underneath all of it, you’re gonna find a moment where you knew better or where you had an intuition and you ignored it or where you had a feeling and you didn’t trust it. So, how do we solve that? We said the way that we solve, or resolve, resentment, when we feel that, is okay, we gotta be more discerning, we gotta check our boundaries, our energetic boundaries, our boundaries with ourselves, our boundaries with other people. So when we feel regret, we have to practice trust. We have to practice trust not only in ourselves, but in the divine unfoldment of things.
I posted something on Instagram recently within the last few weeks that said if this is what’s happening, I trust it to take me where I need to be. And, this is my version, or like the evolution, of everything happens for a reason, right? ‘Cause I know not everyone’s into that phrase and it doesn’t always feel true. It may not even necessarily always be true. I think we can always find in retrospect reasons why things happened or things that happened because of whatever happened before that were actually necessary or beneficial in some way, even after tragedy and trauma, but I know that really doesn’t resonate for some people. So I like this frame instead where it’s if this is what’s happening, I trust it to take me where I need to go. The reason why I love this is the acceptance built into it because often, one of the reasons why we struggle with trust, whether we struggle to trust what’s happening in life, or what other people are doing, or trusting ourselves, is ’cause we’re not accepting something. We’re resisting something, we’re trying to control something we can’t do anything about. And so the acceptance piece is really big. So, if this is happening, I trust it to take me where I need to go.
What I love about this too is it’s very humble because you can be an incredible manifester, you could be, you know, tuning into the highest vibrational frequency of your life and you’re not above drama, trauma, or chaos because you’re a person living in a world with other people, so many other people with so many variables in such intense, and interesting, and evolutionary, and revolutionary times. You can’t control. Like, your vibration is not gonna mean that nothing shitty ever happens in your life. That’s just not how life works because sometimes, in order to up-level, or advance, or progress, or whatever, we are gonna be handed like a shit sandwich and be like, how are you gonna handle? How are you gonna handle that shit sandwich? This is where the rubber meets the road. It’s kind of like when I had my gallbladder surgery earlier this year. I could’ve been like, why is this happening to me? How could this possibly happen when I’m vibrating so high? But I was like, no girl, this is what you needed. But how did I handle it? I handled it with a lot, a lot of grace because I surrendered and I accepted. If this is what’s happening, I trust it. I trust that this is gonna take me somewhere. And then afterwards, like, there were so many beautiful things that rippled out of that really traumatic and painful experience. And there’s a whole episode on that, by the way. We’ll put a link to it in the show notes if you haven’t heard me talk about that. So, back to this piece on regret, being rooted and when we didn’t trust ourselves, when we over road our intuition, when what was really going on was clear to us, but we chose not to acknowledge it or not to factor it in, or to ignore it or to pretend that that wasn’t happening or that wasn’t what it was, right? And we can all relate to this in so many contexts. Often, it happens when we meet people in whatever context, whether it’s dating, whether it’s working, if you’re someone who hires people, in your own company or at your job, wherever you work, whether it’s, you know, finding people to collaborate with or team up with for certain things, or whatever it is. Often, we’ll get a hit about like what’s going on or something that’s funky and we’ll disregard it because we really like the person, because they seem really great. And in some cases, we are positively projecting our our own qualities or our own self onto this person who has not shown us in any way yet that that’s who they actually are.
But, you know, some of us are optimistic or we like to give people unearned benefits of the doubt or some of us really are tapping into people’s soul, like seeing their highest potential, or, you know, their highest expression, even when they’re not yet seeing it themselves. This is an area where I notice a lot of people have regret around, how they engaged with or how they interacted with people or choices they made about letting people into their life, or their work, or their environment in some way, shape, or form. Even if it’s just, you know, you’re redoing something in your house and you went with the contractor that you didn’t really like, but whatever. And then, you know, the project dragged out and ended up being more expensive than they said. I could give a million examples for these types of things. So, how do we resolve this? We resolve this with trust and self-trust to really look at why do I override my intuition. Why do I ignore myself? When I know better, why don’t I do better? And a lot of times, that comes down to courage. It comes down to the courage, it comes down to willingness to disappoint people to honor yourself, to not abandon yourself for the benefit of others, but to respect yourself because who’s gonna do that more and better than you. So, that’s it. That was short episode today. Those were just these two insights of operating from fear and faith and how those parallels between resentment being about over giving and regret being about overriding your intuition and how we can resolve those things with better boundaries and better practices around trust.
So, let me know how those things landed for you, if those insights helped, if you disagree. I mean, that’s great. ‘Cause here’s the other thing, I’m offering these things based on my own experience and just so many clients over the years that I see. So, they are quite commonly correct, but that does not always necessarily mean it’s an absolute truth. So, let me know what you think. This is episode number 386. So links to anything I mentioned could be found in the show notes at untameyourself.com/386 and we’ll be back next week with an interview.