In this episode, I sit down with Elisha Halpin, spiritual mentor and embodiment coach, to discuss consistency, playfulness as an adult, and nervous system healing. Elisa illustrates the beauty of a deep regulation journey and exploiting your relationship with curiosity, consistency, and choice. She also shares her interpretation of the initiation with the dark goddess and what it means to be in full flow with yourself.
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Elisa adds so many rich layers to the ongoing embodiment and expansion discussion that we’re always having, so don’t miss this conversation!
In episode 408 of the Embodied Podcast we discuss::
- [2:44] The joy of slowing down, especially as a person who loves change and transition.
- [11:15] What it looks like to practice consistency in a way that honors who you are.
- [15:27] Learning how to incorporate more playfulness into your adult life.
- [20:48] The difference between the cooperative and adaptive aspects of your true personality.
- [24:46] Noticing when you’re in and out of alignment with your soul.
- [31:39] How to get into an equal exchange with others.
- [36:28] Why your own personal healing is essential if you want to make an impact in the world.
- [41:47] Breaking free from somatic oppression and giving too much power to a modality.
- [46:21] What’s necessary for nervous system expansion and healing.
- [48:31] Having a healthy respect for the dark, chaotic life force.
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Resources mentioned by Elizabeth in the episode:
- Sign up for the free course: Embodying Our Way to Liberation
- Sacred Embodiment Specialist (SES) Training
- Catch the full show notes for episode 408 here
- Email us with questions or feedback.
Don’t miss an episode of The Embodied Podcast.
Quotes from this Week’s Episode of the Embodied Podcast:
- I think that sometimes habits actually remove our vitality, because we become so monotonous with them. They don’t tune us and they tune us out, or we tune out before we do them. And that’s a habit that doesn’t serve, because if you stay in that habit, then your past is your future.
- You’re going to be challenged along the way. That’s essential. That’s the refinement process. So being in the full flow of myself is not without challenge, but that challenge comes with a level of upswell and connection.
- I can’t trust that someone actually knows their purpose or could inhabit it clearly when the nervous system has not been tended.
- It’s not enough for me to be passionate. I have to be passionate, combined with a system that is clear enough to hear truth.
- There’s something vastly missing in this whitewashed spirituality where we can just take a 12-week course and call ourselves a shaman. It’s this healthy respect for the erratic, chaotic life force that generates all of life from this darkness, from this void of all potential, which is nothing and everything at the same time.
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Was this episode helpful for you today? I’d love to know what quote or lesson touched your soul. Let me know in the comments below OR share the episode on Instagram, tag me your stories @elizabethdialto, or send me a DM!
About the Embodied Podcast with Elizabeth DiAlto
Since 2013 I’ve been developing a body of work that helps women embody self-love, healing, and wholeness. We do this by focusing on the four levels of consciousness – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
In practical terms, this looks like exploring tools and practices to help you tune into the deep wisdom of the body and the knowing of the heart, which I believe are gateways to our souls. Then we cultivate a new relationship with our minds that allows the mind to serve this wisdom and knowledge and soul connection, rather than override it, which is what many of us were taught.
If you’ve been doing self-help or spiritual development work for a while, these are the types of foundational things that often people overlook in pursuit of fancier concepts that often aren’t practical or sustainable. Here, we will focus on building these strong foundations so you can honestly and thoroughly embody self-love. If you’re feeling it, subscribe to the show, and leave us a review wherever you listen from. You can also keep up with show updates and community discussions on Instagram here.
Transcript for Episode 408 “Embodiment And Nervous System Expansion with Elisha Halpin“:
Elisha Halpin 00:00
Well, if we come down to like, what are the three C’s that are essential for nervous system regulation, curiosity, consistency, and choice. So we have to have all three of those C’s working in our lives. And I think part of the beauty of a deep regulation journey is going on our own exploration of like, what do those three C’s look like for me?
Elizabeth DiAlto 00:26
Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode number 408 of the embodied Podcast. I’m a little under the weather. As I’m recording this, you could probably hear it in my voice, but that does not do my excitement for today’s guest, Alicia help him. Alicia was introduced to me by a dear friend of mine and former podcast guest Nisha Moodley. I asked Nisha, what embodied people she knows that specializes in the nervous system. And she said, Oh, my client Alicia is the best. And so I started following her on Instagram, instantly fell in love with her stuff. She brings several different modalities, career paths, experiences and perspectives into embodiment work, and I loved our conversation. There’s so many great distinctions and nuances that we got to cover here today. I hope you love it. The show notes for this episode, links to anything we mentioned can be found at untamed yourself.com forward slash 408. And a reminder for anyone listening here in real time. We are currently running the embodying our way to liberation free course you can find information in details for that and sign up at untamed yourself.com forward slash free dash course. Hundreds of people are joining us for this it is amazing. And it’s perfectly timed as we enter into the holiday season. I always like to offer something around this time of year to not only help people get through the holidays, but also help people get rooted and grounded in themselves in their visions, and in their intentions for the coming months, not just the New Year, the coming season right? Before all the New Year New us stuff starts and you feel it all pressure to hit the pavement running in January, which listen for those of us in the northern hemisphere. In January, it’s winter, we should not be hitting any pavement running. We’ll talk about that in the course. So I want to get into this interview. If you’re interested in the course head on over to untamed yourself.com forward slash free dash course. And now I am so excited to introduce you to Alicia.
Elizabeth DiAlto 02:30
Alicia, finally, I’ve been looking forward to this interview from UPS. Yeah. I’m so glad you’re here. The first question I’ve been asking everyone this season of the show is what is something that’s bringing you the most joy right now?
Elisha Halpin 02:44
That’s a great question. Slowing down is bringing me a lot of joy. Finding new ways to play is really, really fun. And you’re just letting my inner child have more space in my life in my work, letting my inner child play in my work. It’s really renew me a lot of joy, getting messy, and rolling out the agenda, forgetting the schedule, just kind of unbinding these places where I thought to be successful to be whatever I thought I would be that I buttoned it all up and yeah, I’m finding a lot of joy in just like letting fucking balls draw for logical splat and being like, Cool. Great. That’s, that’s nice.
Elizabeth DiAlto 03:30
I love this. And it’s so timely for a couple of reasons. First of all, I can just still relate to that. And my friend this morning, made a post in her Instagram stories about how like the healers path to service is so counter to like the greater narrative about like, business and productivity and right all these things. And I was thinking about this the other day because I rebranded probably around this time last year, I started a rebrand. And then I hired a designer to design like all this stuff for me. And I used some of it I didn’t use others of it. And I started working with this like workplace branding like getting these photoshoots and I was like this year I’m really going to go for having the like really beautiful, like Instagram like when you go to my profile because I have Venus in Leo on like I love beauty. When you go to my profile, it’s gonna be like arts. Right? And like I’ve been trying that for years as she’s never gonna fucking be like, right? friends who’ve been worked with the brand and company like you go to their Instagram feeds and it’s like, it’s just like a sensual delight to root of yours that kind of had the same feel and I’m like, listen to never happen. It’s not happening.
Elisha Halpin 04:47
I love it. I love taking part of like, viewing other people. Yes, who move in that way I find it just I do find it satisfying. And I really just saw myself that like I am the Tasmanian Devil and the little tornado blowing in that’s just like, even if I love it for a moment, I’m gonna disrupt it just because of who I
Elizabeth DiAlto 05:09
am. Are you into human design at all? Yeah. Are you a manifesting generator? Oh, yeah, I think we’ve got to embrace it. Like, every year, more and more than I’m so lucky to have like two core people on my team that just roll with it. They’re just like, I get it. You’re a mystic. They are to, in their own ways. Full and they don’t get mad. And that’s actually been something I’ve noticed. I have trouble finding team. Yeah. And we tried to explain to them like, this is not my project manager, Stephanie, who’s been with me since 2017. Literally created a how Elizabeth works document. Collect. Key because, in theory, people are like, yeah, sure, no problem. But when it’s actually happening, a lot of you hang with it. And it was totally fine. I have no judgment for anyone, like I can’t do.
Elisha Halpin 06:01
Right. I know. My OPM is amazing. She’s been my best friend for years. So we have a really great and also we can be super honest in that relationship. And, you know, and she’s, she’s just like, Yep, I have, like, all these things going on, that I just don’t even tell you about. Because I know that the moment I tell you, they’ll just change because it is happening in the background. I’m like, great, I don’t need to know about it, you tend to be myself, because I will just change it to be like, well, we could try something else. I was just thinking, I have a community that I’ve been running. This is our first full year and it was born out of like, I work a lot with one to one clients. And I love that work. I love the deep journey. And also, I noticed that I feel like sometimes we get too insular in that journey. We need community and we need places sometimes to be like, Oh, get out of my own navel and like, let me stare into your eyes. And also, I just I just love ceremony. I love anything that can bring that communal ritual together. And so the community is started with just me bringing my one to one clients together for cacao ceremony for breathwork. And then there would be like these themes, and I’d be like, well, it would just leave here, if I taught everyone you know, and then I’ll have to say at 16 times, I can just say. And then we can go deeper, 16 times. So then I was like, Well, you know, you don’t have to be my one on one client to partake in this. So I opened this community. And so we’re coming to the end of the first year. And I had sort of like, what are we going to do? And how am I going to do it? And I was laughing at myself just from this column. I was like, I think I might be making up a problem that does not exist. Yo, right? I think I might be making up a creative issue just because I like to create new things. And so I was sort of like, because I didn’t make me this survey, like what are we going to do? Maybe there’s gonna be tears next year. And, and I might be right. At the same time. I’m also like, just laughing at myself. Because there is joy for me in that there is joy for me in a creative exploration of like, what are other ways we can do this. And I think as much as it can drive other people crazy. I really do love that part of myself. That’s just like, let’s try it. Let’s just see what happens if we pivot
Elizabeth DiAlto 08:17
1,000%. And listen, I’m sure you get this too when I do stuff like that. I do always get people who are like, thank you so much for modeling. Yeah, you don’t have to just like pick a thing. You know, there’s these books like essentialism, or like the one thing that are like these epistles in certain entrepreneurs, circles, right? Pick your thing and do it well. And it’s like, listen, four to five things to feel satisfied. So but then the goal for me, which I do, this is a dance and I’m it sounds like you have this experience too. And you can share if you want. It’s like I do have to honor that about myself. But then I also have to honor that sometimes it really confuses the fuck out of the people I’m trying to serve. So I also need to find a way to like, communicate clearly around it. And like organize things in a way that aren’t actually leaving people like what the fuck? Totally,
Elisha Halpin 09:13
totally. I think the more that I’ve gotten, I’ve just taken the chip off my shoulder that was sort of like Ben being really clear. Like, why don’t get why you can get it are sort of like, changes great. We, you know, we never step in the same river. I didn’t like sort of softened rounds of those pieces and just been like, Yeah, but part of my role is to be the chaotic initiator of creationary energy in your life. You’re welcome. And part of it is yeah, my own mastery in what are we truly disciplining ourselves into? Yeah, and so also that place of like, where I can get, I can become addicted to change and transformation, because that’s just all over my chart in every coating possible, but it can also become a shadow and so what I really appreciate that people in my life that are sort of like not moving as fast as I am. That gives me the opportunity to sort of say, it doesn’t really need to change. And also, yeah, the opportunity to say it again and again, hey, this is what we’re doing. And this is how we’re doing it. And this is why we’re doing it. And this is the season that we’re doing it. And I think that I’ve really learned to communicate through seasons, and love. So you know, when people are like, What are you doing next year? And I’m like, I don’t know, in this season, it looks like this. Yes. What I know what next season is, I’ll let you know. And I do love being a little bit of that. Interference towards consistency that create habit that doesn’t serve. Yes. And also, I know that part of what I have to continue to bring in my mastery is how does, how do we find consistency and change as relational, rather than opposites?
Elizabeth DiAlto 10:51
I love this. I remember actually, I remember it was last year, the year before, but person I’m connected to had written a whole post about like, consistency. I don’t remember if they said it was like a tool of white supremacy. But they were saying like consistency as a tool of oppression. And I was like, yes, and, and right, because it depends on how you’re doing it. Like I’ve been talking about, I think 20 since 2018. I started calling it holy consistency, because I remember noticing the things I’m super consistent with and the way I’m consistent are not so regimented. For example, I would say the thing I’m most consistent with an all of my spiritual practices is prayer. Probably five out of seven days a week, I’m doing it first thing in the morning. Yeah, sometimes that’s not what happens. But like, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t pray. Yeah, probably several times. Yeah, throughout the day. So it’s like, Do you have a consistent prayer practice? Yes. Can you tell me what it looks like? I mean, how much time you got? So there’s like, yes, these things are happening consistently. But it’s not rigid,
Elisha Halpin 12:01
right? Well, if we come down to like, what are the three C’s that are essential for nervous system regulation, curiosity, consistency, and choice. So we have to have all three of those seeds working in our lives. And I think part of the beauty about a deep regulation journey is going on our own exploration of like, what do those three C’s look like for me, and some of that is going to evolve based on where our safety is, like, if our safety is like, still in our environment, still, and other people still in the externalize world. Consistency looks a lot different, and I can get why that would be a tool of oppression. Right? But if my safety cues are inside of me, then consistency looks exactly like you said, it looks like my commitment. Right? It looks like that, that place where like, this is me, you know, consistent like for me and consistent daily morning practice, super consistent. What I do inside of that morning, practice changes every day, because I’m responding to the energy that I’m in in that moment. Right. So I’m consistent with practice. But my practice doesn’t look the same. Yeah, every day, I have choice inside of that consistency.
Elizabeth DiAlto 13:16
And I love this because it listens for some people listening, that alone might be super life changing and providing giving. Yeah, I think a lot of people take on, I need to have a morning routine. And that means they do the same fucking thing. Right? Every day, drink my lemon water, meditate journal do this like, and the pressure of that it’s like these practices are supposed to be supportive, not feel like chores.
Elisha Halpin 13:40
And I’m definitely not inside of someone else’s brain. Definitely not inside of a brain that needs more habit to feel safe. Right? Like I forget everyday how I do my hair. I’m like, What are you here? To get? Like, I’m not a habitual person. But I do have a lot of clients that really crave habitual things. And so I’ve been in this sort of exploration of like, how much of that is true and how much of that is conditioning? Yes. And for me, I think the only way we can kind of meet that rub is do my habits make me more alive or less alive. And when I entered it from that place, I could see places in myself where I needed some habit. Like now I have habits of taking my supplements because they actually make me more alive they bring more vitality into my body and they help support me and when I just approach it from my personality which is like I don’t do have it vividly like I couldn’t be consistent taking my supplements it was you know, I’m so the habit of having them right in front of me and very available and having my little you know, check board. That’s something that I need to hold that but that habit makes me more vital. Not I think that sometimes habits actually remove our vitality, because we become so monotonous with them. We become so tuned out They don’t tune us and they tune us out, or we tune out before we do them. And that’s a habit that doesn’t serve. Right? Because if you stay in that habit, then your past is your future. Totally. I love this. Right.
Elizabeth DiAlto 15:12
I want to come back to I definitely want to talk more about the nervous system. I love how much you get into that. But I want to come back to play. Yeah. In my community, whenever play comes up, there’s always people who are like, I don’t like how I’m a grown up, how do I play?
Elisha Halpin 15:27
That was me. I drew in 2015, I drew the play card. From every deck I had for an entire year, like, I would do a card bowl. And it would be like play, I’d be like, what? What’s like, I don’t know about a doughnut.
Elizabeth DiAlto 15:44
I’m a grown up.
Elisha Halpin 15:45
I’m a grown up. And I was actually never been at playing as a child either. I can’t like my name. My nickname was like drill surgeon. Oh, I came in like super serious. Like, we’ve got things to do people. I started organizing bodies in space, like really early, like I was an organizer of people and ways that we’re going to do things as think yes, I didn’t really start exploring play until I was an adult. It’s obviously something that’s on my curriculum for this life. But it’s not easy. It’s not easy. And well, I had to accept as a part of my seriousness, while I do think there was an innate pneus of like, I was like, we were like, Let’s go, let’s go, folks, let’s go. That didn’t have to be as rigid as I had come to be. And my rigidity was protection. I think our lack of play is protection. And its protection for a lot of things like we’ve been humiliated, we’ve been shamed, you know, play is inherently vulnerable, we go into a part of ourselves that’s not tracking and not hyper vigilant, that’s not oriented in a way that we’re gonna get away from the tiger when it enters the room as quickly. And so I think for a lot of us, it’s just that part of us continues to be shut down. It’s less exercise, it’s less acceptable.
Elizabeth DiAlto 17:04
Yeah. And I appreciate that you brought up that you weren’t good at playing as a child because I know I certainly do this sometimes in some exercises, and I’ve seen people do it, where the prompt is really like what did you love doing as a kid? People are like, I was a grown up.
Elisha Halpin 17:21
I love Yeah, totally. Well, I was I was like, what I love to bossing people around.
Elizabeth DiAlto 17:26
My games were follow my
Elisha Halpin 17:29
roles. I like let’s build a whole city folks. Let’s go and
Elizabeth DiAlto 17:34
be like to game called, I’m in charge now. I definitely know better than all the grown ups around here. It’s because I can relate to that on a level but I also my personality is super playful. Yeah. And I will say my parents dysfunctional. Not they were great, like, taking care of like physical needs, but in terms of like emotional and stuff like Robin were, but I do appreciate the gifts that they have that I was able to get from each of them. Like my mom is such a great critical thinker. And she’s just like a really thorough person and like very high integrity like her standards for those two things really rubbed off on me and really served me I haven’t my dad is my brother and I sometimes joke like, oh, RF my dad’s name is Patsy Oh, our friends Patsy because he’s like, he was our buddy. Like, he’s a great, he’s great. I play. Yeah, you know, it’s kind of fun to watch them now. Because they have a nice, he could like make up games and like do shit like such a playful person. So I think that probably even before bed and I’ve said this on the podcast before he wouldn’t read me stories. He would tell me jokes. So like, I would be like laughing hysterically before I went to the bed. Yeah, so I think I think my dad helped with that. But I know some people didn’t. Everything was like, serious or they had to like, and listen, there was plenty of hypervigilance in my life growing up, but I think I used the play not I think I know, I was like, Oh, I know how to cut this. Yeah, I know how to change the energy in this room. Let me let me be retaining let me do something silly. So I was one of those people for a long time. Who that was that can also be a protection. Yeah,
Elisha Halpin 19:11
absolutely. It’s so important to recognize that, you know, our personality has innate aspects. It has parts that are just true. Here, and it has cooperative aspects. And it has adapted aspects, right. And this part of us that learned how to survive through what was innately ours and what we took on. Such as for me, the best way for me to play was if I organized at all. So I was security outcomes. Right? Like, this is how we’re going to play and I’m going to teach you the play right? Like I was always one of the reasons I became a choreographer is I’ve been organizing bodies in space and telling them how to move since I was little, it’s just really easy for me to like, see how we can move and stay and create patterns. And that was how I knew to be safe in my play. It was like it wasn’t unknown because I orchestrated it. Right, what no one initiated me into was like, how do you inhabit that, Alicia rather than manage it? How do you get inside of your own superpower of organizing space and organizing bodies into pattern, so that you enjoy it? Right. And I think that that’s why I would love. I’m not a parent, but when I look at parents or when parents are when I’m working with a mom, and she’s sort of like, how do I deal with this, and it’s like, take with the Nate in that way that that child operates, and initiate them into the habit thing, to have that as a real way of being, not the way that becomes a protection.
Elizabeth DiAlto 20:48
So I love that you broke these down, I wrote down the three things, the true aspects of your personality, the cooperative and the adaptive. Yeah. Can people tell the difference? Yeah,
Elisha Halpin 21:01
that’s a good question. And such a deep journey that I think that a lot of us arrive to, at some point, where we start to get curious, sometimes even questioning, like, what is it is this really meet, I think that where I began to unravel, what was co opted was places where I would keep running into a wall, I was an administrator, like a college, like in a college program where I’m administrating graduation stuff, like just like, really, all of these things. And suppose that I was good at it. But I was not happy. I was not set sail, I was not satiated whatsoever. And so it was work that I could do. But it didn’t feel me it didn’t bring me joy. But it did feed a part of me that wanted to be validated or wanted to be seen a certain way. And so I just began to notice that the voice around this part of my life was very different than the the voice that would be in creation, or the voice that would be in other in my spiritual work or these other aspects. And so I just was like, what would happen if I let this part of my life go? What would happen if I said, I’m gonna release? Like, I’m not going to stay on this rack, to become a dean to all of these things that I thought was, I don’t know, I would be something finally. Right. And in letting that go, I was like, oh, here I am.
Elizabeth DiAlto 22:34
Here I am. This is amazing. I ran a self love. I have a self love framework that I’ve been teaching for years. And I do, I was doing an online immersive experience. I wanted to do an in person one. And I just read it this past weekend. And we talked about this a lot. Because again, this is anything as a sweeping generalization might not apply to everyone, right? Like, right, that bring you joy, like no one gets to do what brings them joy 24/7. That’s the world we live in. Right? And anyone who says that their life is like that is bypassing something somewhere. That’s not to be like, gotcha, like, it’s just like, this world is challenging. And there’s all you know, we all have various privileges. And then we all have things that we’re challenged by some of the things that we talk about openly in some of the things that we don’t, and everyone’s managing stuff. So it was like, but but there’s an ease, like things that come in neatly. There’s like this ease, right? It’s not such an effort. So that was one of the things that I’ve been noticing for myself is like, what’s the effort? And it’s actually okay, could you like, it’s kind of like this constant. Like, one of the only things I remember from college or from an economics class was like opportunity cost, which is basically like, is this fucking worth it or not? You know, like, not only is it worth it even recent example, again, I mentioned earlier, I have trouble finding like tech and admin assistants in the business. And so I’ve learned how to do I could set things up on the website, I could do things in ConvertKit, like my, like, other moving parts. And I was reflecting on my team call this morning. And I was like, You know what, I actually, there’s something because of the energy that goes into things. That even though it’s not my favorite thing to do, it is deeply satisfying. Because the way I work, like as I’m in there, setting things up, I’m noticing and tweaking things and refining right there in the moment that no one else actually would be able to see. Because that’s also the thing, right? You have to question like, Okay, well, are you being a control freak? Are you resisting delegation? And like, no, there’s like, kind of an art to me doing to me having my hands in this part of the thing?
24:46
Yeah. And I think what you’re highlighting and what I’ve just said, I’m noticing even in my own journey, is there something about the co-opted making something that we possibly got got praised or, or validated for, or felt like a necessity at some point, and making that the identity we follow, versus even just skills that we can do, because I would say my years of administrating in academic programs absolutely serves in my business. Right? Like it absolutely served that I know how to make schedules. And I mean, nobody’s graduating over here, but like, I understand, like procedures, and, and all of those things, and that serves my business, but it’s no longer my identity. It’s no longer how I’m trying to survive in the world to be made valid and worthy, right, it’s no longer I’m trying to prove myself. So I think often we can find those cooperative places with like, where are we, proving that we belong? Versus like, oh, yeah, there is something like I would say administration’s never going to be my favorite thing to do. And like you said, the more that I sit into the truth of how does that live in my life, right now, I’m going to see things inside of my business that nobody else is. And I think that we can win, we want to just pretend that being our full selves means coming with no challenge. That is just utterly ridiculous. It’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous. Because even the things that are like most fruitful in our lives, like scaling a mountain, right, whether that’s a metaphorical mountain or a literal mountain, there is challenge, you’re going to be challenged along the way that’s essential. That’s the refinement process. So being in the full flow of myself is not without challenge. But that challenge comes with a level of upswell, or connection, or just that satisfying, sort of like a roller. I’m just like, wrestling with this thing in my life. Like, is hard. And also like, I just freaking love it that I get so sort of like raffle with us. So I think that’s also how I sort of noticed if I’m in that alignment with my soul, even when it’s hard, does it feel worth it?
Elizabeth DiAlto 26:59
Totally. Yeah. And there’s a big, I’m glad you’re articulating this. And listen, people listening, Alicia and I are talking about it in the context of our businesses, because we have businesses. Yeah. But as always, I always like to remind people take our context, dissolve it and put it in whatever area like for some of you who are parents, it could be parenting. My God. I know. I work with a lot of moms too. And I have a lot of friends with kids. And it’s so cool to watch how different people parent. Yeah, right. Watch how my friend’s parent versus how people in my family who haven’t healed their trauma parent, you know, like, the different when people who are on a more expensive journey than others. And again, it’s not saying like, sit back and judge people, but it’s, it’s cool to observe the differences. And then what that leaves room for. Yeah, and what that creates a friend of mine, her husband got hurt the other week. So I was over there a couple of times, just like hanging out with the kids relieving the nannies watching go back and forth to the hospital. And I was just so thoroughly impressed with how the kids were sharing their feelings, dealing with it still playing like, because I’m just used to in my house, everything it was just would have been so tense. I was just so impressed with the lack of tension in a household. I was like, this is beautiful.
28:20
Yeah, you know, I think whatever journey is in front of us is the perfect place to practice. Totally. Right. And that there’s not a hierarchy of professional and personal like, I don’t even hold that professional and personal are different. I think there’s just your life and you get to practice your evolution in all of it. I love that. Yeah.
Elizabeth DiAlto 28:44
So how did you go from that, like, academic administrative career to getting into like, Alchemy and nervous system and emodiment?
Elisha Halpin 28:53
Nervous System work? Good embodiment. Yeah, you know, I didn’t really go it’s like been a crossfade like a really slow crossfade I only just released tenure in July the end of July. Well, lab. Yeah. So I’m a newly freed from my tenured cells. So though I released administration a few years ago, yeah, it’s been this crossfade of sort of my academic selves, part of why I will release that was like, I’m gonna finish my PhD. We’ll see. There is just like this academic aspect of me, I really love a research not from kind of the silo place of research, but this opportunity, in my work to apply hard science to really look and interrogate what we’re learning scientifically. And using practice as a way of testing and retooling and toning and I love it. You know, Reggie Ray says that one of the issues, especially in our spiritual technologies, is that the seer retentions that the people who are writing all the theory, don’t practice and don’t teach practice. Oh, and the people who practice don’t know the theories. And I think that in my codes and in the way that I move and understand, for me, the marriage of both has been always been essential. But I think that way back in my dance career, before I even decided to become an academic, I was very, very curious about identity. And so stumbled into depth psychology and archetypes, and really explored the inner landscape through movement. And so that’s always been something that’s drawn me really began working with energy and dabbling and things in my 20 years, and then kind of had sort of got all in in my 30s, but also had some mystical experiences that just really, like took my focus, and it’s not been so conscious. And people are like, how did you get here, and I’m like, I’ve just been falling breadcrumbs in my life, I don’t know, like, I just have been like this just where life has led. And I did it. So I would say that there was a moment that I made a conscious choice, to inhabit my life as priestess and to claim that as the remembrance and the honoring of who I am and how this body wants to move in the world. And I never planned to have a business, particularly around that I just wanted to be able to offer my work. And so the business aspect has been kind of slow in its evolution. It’s been happening, and I’ve just been ignoring it. But because for me, it wasn’t about becoming an entrepreneur, my life has been about how can I serve? How can I continue to evolve?
Elizabeth DiAlto 31:32
Yeah, I’m with that. And also, I just knew from a young age that I really wasn’t built to work for other people.
Elisha Halpin 31:39
I lucked into sort of academia, which is a strange, it’s not a super healthy world. But it wasn’t corporate, when I started, it has become much more corporate as I’ve finished. But when I started, it was just sort of the wild west of like, I had a lot of space to play. And it felt really great. And there was this part of me that wasn’t ready to deal with money, or to understand how to get into Exchange. And so having an academic job was like, I had a lot of free rein, and nobody really paid any attention to what I was doing. And you know, there was great and then muddy, I landed in my bank account every month. That works really well, for quite a few years, as I matured, and stepped into different levels of mastery. This is
Elizabeth DiAlto 32:23
a cool way to put it that we hear energetic exchange money is energy. But speaking about running a business, as needing to figure out how to get into Exchange. Yeah, it’s just such a great way to frame it. And I know some people listening, you know, do have businesses or side hustles, or offerings or things that they’re wanting to do. And I know this is a lot of the women who end up in my environment specialist training, right, this is part of the thing. It’s like, well, what do I charge? Can I do this? And can I do that? And how, and I’m like, listen, I can guide you. But there’s a lot of things that you’re not going to know the answers to until you do it that and see that it works for you or that it doesn’t work for you. And like some things that come really easily to me, like I’m always telling people I’m like, do not use me as your model. Unless you’re like a six to manifesting generator with emotional authority, and all my same gates, kind of like, you know, like, we’re all so different. But everyone has to figure out how to get to even people who have jobs. I had someone on my staff of weekend this past weekend, who’s working for a startup and the whole weekend. She’s like, Oh, I’m just really given way too much. Yeah, work right now. Any, regardless of if they work for themselves or someone else to get into that.
Elisha Halpin 33:41
Absolutely, you know, exchange is it’s one of the core frequency is that we have to learn to be with, to co create with, you know, and it doesn’t matter where that it doesn’t matter what it’s looking like, I do think the entrepreneurial journey can be a specific kind of curriculum around it. But I think it’s curriculum that really we all have to meet. And it also for some of us, it’s not going to come through money. It’s going to come through relationship, it’s going to come through how we’re dealing with the, you know, the climate crisis. And, you know, there’s so many aspects to exchange, I mean, really exchanges within every relationship.
Elizabeth DiAlto 34:17
Yeah, I love this too. And actually, I just posted this always happens, like on podcast days, like things that are like floating around in my mind often come up in the conversations to, I’m running right now, free course called embodying our way to liberation. And I was sharing it this morning, and one of the things I was saying is like, liberation is big work, and we all have our part to do. Yeah, part of my contribution is helping people who are on a healing path. do so in a way that serves themselves and the collective. Yeah, like you mentioned earlier, like getting my eyes out of my navel, and like, look up, right, because we impact and we model and have ripple effects everywhere. So it’s like how do we not just be more of these like super privelage self centered people call everything healing, but really we’re just hanging out in our own little bubble and not engaging with the world at large.
Elisha Halpin 35:09
So totally. You know, I think there’s, there’s such a question about what are we living for? Right? And I think that question, you know, the question like, what’s the quality of my life has to be in relationship to and what am I living for? What am I here for? And if I’m only here to make sure I get a big house and a nice car, and all those things, okay. I don’t need to judge that if that’s what someone really thinks they’re here for. But for me, that’s just sort of pointless. Like, that just isn’t enough for life. Like, I mean, I’m cool with having a nice car, that’s fine. But like, what are you really here for? Like, what sets you on fire? And what is the place in the world that you want to make a contribution? And for me, none of those things, I can’t also trust those things when we’re coming from a loaded nervous system. I can’t trust that someone actually knows their purpose, or could inhabit it clearly, when the nervous system has not been tended. Yeah. Right. And so I think to that, there’s that the healing, like, if you want to make an impact in the world, your own personal healing is essential. Because it’s the only way to be a clear channel. It’s not enough for me to be passionate, I have to be passionate, combined with a system that is clear enough to hear truth.
Elizabeth DiAlto 36:28
Okay, this is this is so huge. And I want people to like just take a moment and take that in. Right. Your own healing is so important. Because having a clear nervous system, right? And is anyone’s nervous system going to be clear, Tony, is it like, oh, I clear my nervous system. I’m gonna like no, like,
Elisha Halpin 36:48
it’s an ongoing journey, I believe, ongoing journey, but
Elizabeth DiAlto 36:52
oriented in that way, like more often than not, that’s what it’s something I’m constantly telling people like, Listen, if you’re experiencing this thing more often than not, that’s, that’s it. That’s the goal.
Elisha Halpin 37:02
Absolutely. I think one of the misnomers around the nervous system is that like, I’m either regulated, or I’m just regulated. And that is, first of all, such a reductionist way of knowing yourself, right? Because you’re so multifaceted, your soul, multi conscious, there’s so many things going on. And also that just really shows our ignorance around what dysregulation is, right? And so every time you go into expansion, every time you go into creation, every time you hit the unknown, guess what’s there, just regulation, and you’re not doing it wrong, however, the quality of your ability to regulate the part of you that needs to meet the dysregulation so that you can create, so that you can expand so that you can heal, you know, what took me into my own healing journey, or really into meeting my nervous system. And my healing journey was knowing that I had to be able to stay in my body and feel the discomfort, that’s huge. That means that my regulation has to hold my dysregulation, not that I’m either or,
Elizabeth DiAlto 38:08
you know, it’s funny, during the pandemic, I was living in California, and it was really isolating. I’ve never been that isolated in my life. And in a lot of ways, I’m someone from growing up in such a chaotic environment. And so like tons of emotional dysregulation, and being sensitive, I’ve been working on renegotiating this contract in the family lineage. Because I’m like, Listen, I’m not processing your shin anymore, everybody. I’m done. I’m done with that. I’ve got health issues. And I know where these leads are coming from things being being processing everyone else’s shit. Yeah, in addition to my own, so I had a lot like I had a full nervous system for a lot of the pandemic. And but even so my capacity for what I can hold is massive. Yeah, one of the things I started to notice is, oh, I might not feel dysregulated, because my capacity to hold is immense. And I don’t know that like at the point, if I’m noticing, I’m dysregulated I am so full, right? There’s so much here if I’m actually feeling it. But then I just started noticing like the external markers, like I’m eating poorly, the dishes are piling up in the sink. And it’s funny, because since I got to Miami, this is just a much better environment for me. I’m like, I need to live somewhere where the environment could you a lot of the lift for me that way. I’m like, Oh, look at me doing my dishes every day. And it’s funny that it’s about the fucking dishes. I’m like, Listen, if my laundry is getting done, if my dishes are getting done, I am in a good place.
Elisha Halpin 39:40
Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, for me what I call it is looking at the fruits of our lives. You know, and a lot of people will tell me like, oh, no, I do love myself or Oh, no, I’m so regulated. I did a meditation this morning. And then I’m like, Well, let’s look at the fruits of your lives. Yeah, right. And, you know, for each of us, we have these fruitful markers. And we have to be willing to be truthful with ourselves. Right? We have to be willing because it’s not. And I think there’s an aspect to of like being like, Oh, if I am this a mom, an entrepreneur, a CEO, whatever, right? I shouldn’t be dysregulated. And I’m gonna have shame if I have to say, like, I’m feeling these things, right. For me, one of the things that’s driven a lot of my research and a lot of the creation of my work was being a dancer, being a somatic teacher, from my 20s. All of these things, my mind body connection was technically pristine. I can get my body to do all kinds of things. I could perform in ways that you would have been like, oh, my gosh, she’s so vulnerable, right cry on cue, you know, rip my heart open, no problem. I’m performing. I know how to articulate it. I know how to organize it. walk off stage, I was a mess. I was completely shut down. I was having anxiety. I didn’t know because I was not inhabiting myself.
Elizabeth DiAlto 41:06
Yeah, I can super relate to this, because I was a personal trainer, and a group exercise instructor. And when I got more into embodiment work, I realized I used to say the difference was, I used to pay a lot of attention to my body. But that doesn’t mean I was actually connected, correct to my body. I knew what I needed to eat. I knew how to work out so I could stay in shape, whatever. And then there was also though an attachment to like these physical cues and markers like you were describing in that context in the context of fitness. It’s literally how your body looks and what you can do with it. Yeah. That go, Oh, I’m an air quote. good shape. Yeah. Wow. Absolutely. Absolutely. Really holistically.
Elisha Halpin 41:47
Yeah, you know, for me, like I’ve been in Cymatics been in the Cymatics. World for 20 plus years. And I would say for the first 10 years of my life, my Cymatics was about oppression. I learned these tools and was taught these tools in a way that I could further suppress myself at a press myself to have an it wasn’t that I wasn’t having a somatic experience. It absolutely was. But it wasn’t truthful. It was contrived. Because the way we work with modality allowed me to skew the experience to have the outcome that would expect it.
Elizabeth DiAlto 42:24
Yo, this is part of the problem with like, knowing too much, right?
Elisha Halpin 42:29
Like, oh, I know how to work this. Totally. It’s also the problem where we’re giving our power to modality. And we’re so concerned with the external outcome. And we’re so afraid to be inside of the dissent and the disintegration and the dissolved journey.
Elizabeth DiAlto 42:48
Totally. So you said this thing earlier about how some people are like, mostly theory little to no practice. Yeah, all practice no theory or somewhere on it. Yeah. I am a person who leans more towards. And I’m a real geek about stuff. But how I came into my modalities, like the things that I teach in a lot of ways other than the energy work, that was all like trainings and things like that. But my embodiment practices, just kind of like, came to me. And then I was discovering like, oh, there’s an aspect of this and Kundalini Yoga, oh, there’s this whole field called Cymatics. Like this Newt exists. And this is why like, I used to work in the Akashic records. And I remember I didn’t like formally learned about the Akashic records until 2018. And I was like, Oh, this is what’s been happening the whole time. And then I wanted to go on a journey of integration. I was like, Yeah, I had a little reservation. And like, I don’t want to learn too much like you’re saying everything that almost like raw access to whatever is coming through. But it’s also for some people to deeply like, get it, use it and understand it. They need the DT they need that stuff. Yeah, I love having I was excited to connect with you. And I’m like, Grace. I’m never going to be the research person. Like not some research people around me.
Elisha Halpin 44:09
Oh, there’s a part of our brain that needs something to gnaw on. Yeah. It just like it needs a little bit of candy, you know, to be like, ah, that’s what we’re doing in Atlanta. And we can become so disbelieving that we could be in the flow of creation, that our way of doing it could serve us best. But it’s like no, no, I have to follow exactly what that Reiki thing is, or I have to follow exactly what that in those cases like we’re just we’re not allowing modality which just came from someone else’s channel. Right. Right. Like it just was someone else’s blueprint where it so we’re not allowing that to be a springboard into our own wisdom. We get stuck again, we’re talking about habit we get stuck in a habit of following
Elizabeth DiAlto 44:56
a rule. Yeah. So this is something But I’m actually so what’s the word I want to use? I’m actually I’m like in love with our embodiment specialist training and I love so much about it is like you’re saying, like holding the modality loosely, being like, listen, here’s the practice, but you have to use this and express it in like, your own way. Yep, I had a sales career in my early 20s. And I went through this management training program. And I would always watch people mimic their managers, their mannerisms, their voice inflection stuff, and I’m like, people are just creating little clones, you know? So like, with our trainees, I’m always like, I know, you’ve taken a ton of my classes, like, I don’t care, use my cues, whatever. But you got to find your own, like, what is your voice? Yeah. And don’t do the like, yoga voice that everyone does, right? And that’s when we do our practice sessions. I’m like, okay, but you gotta talk like, you know, right. Like, it’s not just like, lower, slower or monotonous is only soothing way to talk, you know, right. And it’s like those little nuance things of like, what is your expression, you will get irritated with me sometimes, because they want me to just tell them how to do shit. And I’m like, sweet, he got to find your way, in the absolutely practice and do that shit yourself.
Elisha Halpin 46:21
Right? And if we really go back to like, what’s necessary for healing, or expansion, US authority, right, authority has to be there, the author ship, the CO creator ship has to be part of the journey. And we can’t expect that if we’re going to hold space for other people’s healing, or we’re inviting ourselves to heal ourselves, that we’re going to do that simply by following someone else’s rules. Where’s your power? Right? Where’s your ability to see yourself as the brilliant brightness that you are?
Elizabeth DiAlto 46:55
So good. Yeah. Um, you’ve been posting some stuff lately about like getting into the darkness. Yeah. I love talking about this. And, like, people are so afraid of it. Yeah, we think it’s bad or wrong or whatever. Totally. Totally liberating. Yeah. And it could also be like quicksand. Totally, I had an I had an ex like that. He was all about that. Yeah, it’s like, okay, but you can’t live there, either. Because that’s also not a life. Right? That’s also not vital. So what’s your I don’t know, I don’t even have the question. I just wanted to, like, invite you to say whatever you feel like saying about that, right. Now, as we start.
Elisha Halpin 47:41
I love it. So first, I’ll just say like, my definition of the dark is that it’s the place a space, just like the wilderness, just like the mountaintop, right? Like it’s kind of this mythical mythopoetic aspect of our journey. And it’s a necessary place to visit, we each have a residence there that we need to inhabit at certain parts of our cycle in our spiral. And I think that, you know, language is so interesting and so problematic, you know, because we’re so often, you know, I speak Alicia, can you speak Elizabeth? You know, you speak Liz and, and so often we’re not certain about what we’re talking about, or over. And we’re not certain that we’re not all talking the same language. You know, it’s like think that’s important. So, to me, dark is not shadow, those are different things. And so for me, though, there’s this beautiful initiation that is required with the dark goddess, right. And I think why it’s required, especially for those of us in modern times, is that this is the part that we have tried to kill. This is the feminine, we’ve sent into exile. And it’s feminine, that is Yin and it, you know, it’s the fecundity and it’s the sensual lusciousness. Right? And it’s also the feminine, that is the Shakti that is the destroyer, that is the death shroud that is this creator destroy your energy that’s like I will blow this up. Just kind of I can. We’re both in Florida right now. We know there’s a hurricane passing through. That’s this feminine wild energy and you know, the reason we’re afraid of the dark is because it’s our Radek, it’s unpredictable. It’s uncertain what we’re going to meet there. So in some ways, if our fear is coming from healthy respect of like, yeah, okay, that’s that’s a journey. That’s a thing. That’s an experience. I think that’s fine. If our fear comes from a place of like, it’s uncontrollable, so therefore I will not engage. Yo, that is where we’re in the shadow of the dark.
Elizabeth DiAlto 49:51
I lived in Malibu for a year of my life, and I would go to this place called Point Doom regularly. And I went The morning after a full moon one time, and I was out there and I bumped into this man who was a Native American man. And we were talking about the ocean. And I was saying, how I love sitting in that spot, because it was like this cliff, and you’re just like, looking out at the vastness. I’m like, it makes me feel very small, like reminds me that I’m just like a little speck in this much vaster thing. Yeah. And at the same time, I always feel a little bit of terror up here. Like I’m afraid of the ocean. And he said, like what you just said, he was like, sounds like you have a healthy respect of the unknown that’s out there. And what’s way more powerful than you are? I was like, correct.
Elisha Halpin 50:42
That’s what it is.
Elizabeth DiAlto 50:43
I love this distinction. You just made that fear coming from a healthy respect. Yeah. Rather than, well, I can’t control this thing. So I don’t want to engage with it. Yeah.
Elisha Halpin 50:54
And I think it’s something that in kind of whitewashed spirituality, where we can just take a 12 week course and call ourselves a shaman, that’s vastly missing. Like this healthy respect for the erratic, chaotic life force that generates all of life, from this darkness, run this void of all potential, which is nothing and everything at the same time. And if you haven’t practiced entering that space with yourself in little doses and big doses, like I was just in Mexico, on retreat, and I mean, I live by the ocean, the ocean in the Gulf is like, so friendly. It’s like beautiful, and she’s like, the loving mother here. And, you know, and it’s just like, even our even the erratic like, when we’re in riptides, and things like that. It’s like, it’s okay. I never feel like she’s demanding my life. You know, I feel like she’s inviting me to sort of like be held, which is exactly why I moved here and exactly what I needed. And this other journey on retreat was so beautiful. And this other being there in the sound portal of this depth portal of like, give it all and it’s time to die, and we can be reborn. And the ocean was just like the waves that come in, and you just feel the energy like she was grabbing, you have like,
Elisha Halpin 52:17
I want it all. I want all of you, right. And it was just so beautiful to be in that kind of raw wildness and get to feel myself just offering all of my life over and over again, like, yeah, you’re right. You can have all of me, take me and spit me out on the shores where I’m meant to be. I don’t want to be in charge of figuring that out. I want to be shown I want the divine just to be like, Babe here. Here’s where you stir. And I’ll go willingly, but it takes being devoured in the darkness. To do that, right. Like in my community. Right now. We’re doing darkness practice. And it’s beautiful, what people are meeting and we’re doing it really gently like, you know, some people are crawling in their closets. And some people are putting on their, you know, mask, and some people are taking baths in the dark. And, you know, we’re entering it really beautifully. And some people are kind of in the exploration of like, well, what would it be to go on a full darkness retreat or kind of place. And I just think it’s such an important part of us to remember that it’s something we’d lot with artificial light, the way that we just kind of position our life for convenience. And I’m not saying Give it up like I love convenience. I’m not good. It’s good. I like it. You know, I like refrigerators, and the internet’s and all of the things but there’s also something that we need to remember that’s an invitation from the wild part of life that can’t be controlled or contained. Or just made for our own convenience, that life has a wildness that we need to meet. And I think that the dark Goddess is here to sort of take us on that journey.
Elizabeth DiAlto 53:54
And it requires like full presence and engagement. Absolutely. That’s the thing. It’s like no you actually can’t You can’t dabble in this. Yeah, just try this on your leg. What do they like being pregnant? You are your thoughts? Yeah, I love that. Thank you. So I follow you on Instagram and I love all your stuff on Instagram. People listening if they’re like, ooh, give me more her Where do you want them to come find you?
Elisha Halpin 54:19
Totally on Instagram. Yeah, Alicia underscore happen. Right now. It’s my name. What’s entertaining a name change? Oh, um, but currently, that’s where we
Elizabeth DiAlto 54:28
can let us know if you change it will change.
Elisha Halpin 54:33
Yeah, and I enjoy playing on Instagram. It’s a really beautiful platform for play. And yeah, I might be launching a substack in 2023. Oh, fine. I just launched when I liked that platform. Yeah, yeah, it’s intriguing me so I tend to my newsletter every week. So that’s also another place you can find me on Instagram, check out my bio. My link tree will be there. You can sign up for my newsletter. Yeah,
Elizabeth DiAlto 54:57
thank you so much. Thank you for having so many Rich layers to the ongoing and ever expansive embodiment discussion that we’re always having. No,
Elisha Halpin 55:06
I love it.
Elizabeth DiAlto 55:07
I appreciate that so much everyone listening. This was episode number 408 So you can get the show notes at untamed yourself.com forward slash 408 And we’ll see you later