Q&A – Feeling Feelings, Anxious Attachment, and Loving Our Bodies No Matter What

by | Feb 28, 2023 | Uncategorized

In the Wild Soul Sacred Body Membership, I host monthly community Q&A calls to go deeper on themes of self love, healing, wholeness, and liberation. To give you an idea of what it’s like to be on those calls, I asked for questions on Instagram and pulled out the top three submissions: 

  1. How can I navigate injury, illness, chronic pain, or the changes in my body as I age?
  2. How can I heal from my anxious attachment style?
  3. How can I start feeling my feelings when I’ve avoided doing so for a long time?

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As I work through these topics, I Iook back on a range of personal and professional experiences and offer up resources that my clients and students find to be useful. I also share what you can expect from the membership, including access to workshops and meditations that explore each of these questions in a richer, more nuanced way.

In episode 417 of the Embodied Podcast we discuss:

  • (5:06) My life as a relatively able-bodied person who has dealt with invisible injuries 
  • (6:51) Why inclusivity around the topic of bodies and illnesses is so important to me
  • (10:31) Discovering invitations for deeper liberation, embodiment, acceptance, and self love 
  • (13:23) Approaching your body from a place of acceptance instead of resistance 
  • (20:05) What has helped me get to the root of my anxious responses or reactions
  • (24:00) Being unavailable for avoidant behavior and setting boundaries around that 
  • (28:20) Practices that can help get you out of your head and into your body 
  • (33:02) Different embodiment and movement classes we offer for Wild Soul Sacred Body members

Resources mentioned by Elizabeth in the episode:

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Quotes from this Week’s Episode of the Embodied Podcast: 

  • Whether it’s injury, illness, body pain, weight gain, weight loss, or various conditions and disorders, I look at all of it as invitations for deeper liberation, embodiment, acceptance, respect, and love for the self.
  • Acceptance is not approval. You can accept something and have immense compassion for it, and also want to change it.
  • As you get in your senses you can notice patterns.
  • Doing practices that don’t require you to mentally process feelings and emotions helps to resensitize you. 
  • Terri Cole has these three questions, which are: Who does this remind me of? When have I felt this way before? And why does this feel familiar? Those three questions get to the root of what’s going on. 
  • I didn’t deny myself a friggin’ thing because I gained weight. There are a lot of people who withhold and deny themselves things and experiences because they don’t feel comfortable or confident in how they look. I refuse to do that.

How was this episode for you?

Was this episode helpful for you today? I’d love to know what quote or lesson touched your soul. Let me know in the comments below OR share the episode on Instagram, tag me your stories @elizabethdialto, or send me a DM!

About the Embodied Podcast with Elizabeth DiAlto

Since 2013 I’ve been developing a body of work that helps women embody self-love, healing, and wholeness. We do this by focusing on the four levels of consciousness – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

In practical terms, this looks like exploring tools and practices to help you tune into the deep wisdom of the body and the knowing of the heart, which I believe are gateways to our souls. Then we cultivate a new relationship with our minds that allows the mind to serve this wisdom and knowledge and soul connection, rather than override it, which is what many of us were taught.

If you’ve been doing self-help or spiritual development work for a while, these are the types of foundational things that often people overlook in pursuit of fancier concepts that often aren’t practical or sustainable. Here, we will focus on building these strong foundations so you can honestly and thoroughly embody self-love. If you’re feeling it, subscribe to the show, and leave us a review wherever you listen from. You can also keep up with show updates and community discussions on Instagram here.

Transcript for Episode 417 “Q&A – Feeling Feelings, Anxious Attachment, and Loving Our Bodies No Matter What“:

Elizabeth DiAlto  00:00

You might be an anxious person by nature. But either way, it’s about what is the fear? What are you afraid of? Is it rejection? Is it abandonment? Is it betrayal, and really digging into what are the nuanced differences between those things and why?

Elizabeth DiAlto  00:24

Hello, everybody, welcome to episode number 417 of the embody podcast. I’m your host, Elizabeth D Alto. And today we are doing a q&a episode. I do these like a couple times a year. So they’re super rare. And I really enjoy it. And I’m doing it intentionally this week, because we have a short little enrollment period opening up in the wild soul sacred body membership from March 5 to the eighth. And I just want you to know if you’ve ever thought about joining us what it’s like to join in on our monthly q&a calls. Because this is super fun. I love q&a. Even when I do public speaking or when I guess teach in other people’s programs, I always make sure that there’s time for q&a, because some of the juiciest stuff can come out when just riffing on and answering people’s very random questions. So in the wild soul sacred body membership, which you can check out the details at untamed yourself.com, forward slash membership. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  01:32

I have all these different healing frameworks and all these different discussion topics. And we do monthly healing journeys. And so there’s always pointed stuff that people can be asking about. But in general, everything we do in there comes back to self love, healing, wholeness, and liberation. So questions that have to do with anything under those very big umbrellas are always welcome in our monthly q&a calls. And people can join the call Live, which a lot of people like to do other people, if they can’t make the time they pre submit their questions, so that they could listen in later to the recording. And so again, this episode this week is just to give you a little taste of what it’s like to be a member, and to have the opportunity to ask me whatever you want. The only thing you don’t really get the same feeling of with a podcast episode is getting to be there with our incredible community members. Because even when I answer questions on our monthly q&a calls in the membership, I always also open it up to see if anyone in our community has anything to add or any relevant experience because we have a lot of brilliant people in our community. We also have people who have been in our community for years, you know, we’re coming up on the three year anniversary, some people have been members since the beginning. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  02:54

And some people have just been working with me and doing our frameworks, whether that’s self love, or self liberation, or working on our wild soul archetypes for as long as I’ve had them. And people aren’t just wise, because they’ve done my work. They’re wise because they have all kinds of their own lived experiences. And they’ve studied in other places, and they’re super committed to healing growth, spiritual evolution, and stuff like that. So you don’t necessarily get the community vibe, by listening to this podcast. But you do kind of get a little taste of what it’s like to be on a q&a call. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  03:29

So diving in, I posted on Instagram to just ask people, What would you want to ask for the q&a episode, and I pulled the top three questions. And so the first one was about navigating injury, illness, chronic pain, and or the body changes as we age. And this person had said they really loved my episode that I did last year about my injury, which wasn’t exactly an injury, I had to get an organ removed to have my gallbladder removed. And so if you want to listen to that episode, it was called My mystical initiation. And we’ll put a link to it in the show notes. You could always find our show notes by going to untamed yourself.com forward slash podcast. So when it comes to injury, illness, chronic pain, body changes as we age, I’m going to include weight gain under this as well because that’s a that’s a body change for some of us. And I’m sure for some of you weight loss is also a body change. And you know, there’s so many I would never be able to describe or include all of the various illnesses, injuries, chronic conditions, pain, people experience, things related to disabilities, disorders, all kinds of physical things that we go through, right. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  04:40

But I also did an episode last year in 2022, called self love after weight gain. And so if that’s something you’ve dealt with, whether like me you gained weight just over the course of your 30s or any other decade, and then also during the pandemic, which I know was quite common for many of us. Have a listen to that episode. If you are struggling with your body and The way after some weight gain, regardless of what caused the weight gain, we’ll put a link to that in the show notes as well.

Elizabeth DiAlto  05:06

And here’s what I want to say about all of this. I am a relatively able bodied person, I don’t talk a lot or bring a lot of emphasis or attention to physical challenges are things that I have not to hide it. But because I’m not really interested in feedback, or unwanted energy or attention or sympathy, or just kind of the strange ways that people react when you share stuff like that on the internet, like on the wide web, the World Wide Web, right, but I do experience you know, since I was about 12 years old, I’ve experienced chronic lower back pain, I’ve had numerous injuries over the course of my life playing sports, a lot of ankle sprains, I probably tore a ligament in 2010. And I just, I don’t know if any of you can relate to being that stubborn person that is like, I’m just gonna get better, this is fine. Like I didn’t go get an x ray or anything like that. And I probably walked on it and pushed myself too soon. I had a hernia surgery, hernia repair my senior year of college. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  06:15

Last year, I had my gallbladder removed. And you know, other miscellaneous things over the years, I’ve torn some, I’ve had little minor tears on my shoulders, over the years from both boxing and pole dancing. And also just some pain associated with chronic inflammation, which has been something that my 30s blessed me with. And when I say my 30s, I mean, also a lot of my own cumulative voluntary life choices, and some issues with emotional or comfort eating and stuff like that.

Elizabeth DiAlto  06:49

So here’s what I want to share about this. And before I say this, I just want to acknowledge again, how unique everybody’s relationships might be, if you’re someone who struggles or suffers with any kind of chronic, again, illness, injury, pain, condition, any kind of thing, right? You know, we’re all so different. And I’m not out here ever speaking as if my experience is universal, because I’m also still very mobile and still able to move and appear relatively healthy. I have a lot of my experiences have been things that people consider invisible, right? Like, you could look at me and see me and not realize, you know, even the stuff with my gallbladder that was going on for like five years before I had my gallbladder out. And anyone who’s ever had like gall stones or dealt with inflammation, gallbladder issues, you know, if you’ve had gallbladder attacks, the shit is so painful that kidney stones and pancreatitis is what they say, are pretty much the only things comparable to childbirth. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  07:54

So some of you know what that could be like I’m and as well, anyone who’s ever had digestive issues, knows what it’s like to like, have all this confusion around what to eat, what’s gonna give you a stomach ache, what might have you rushed into the bathroom, or just put you into excruciating pain wake you up in the middle of a night. You know, it’s a lot. And I don’t do the hierarchy thing. I’m not into hierarchy of suffering. So I just want to acknowledge the uniqueness.

Elizabeth DiAlto  08:19

And then as well, for people who have very long term chronic things, I know how sometimes that also adds to stress, anxiety, depression, sometimes, which for the most part, are not necessarily things that I deal with. I might feel anxious on occasion. But that’s definitely anxiety is not something I deal with. I did actually get depressed for the first time ever, like really depressed from being so isolated when I was living in California during the pandemic. But I’ve never had any kind of clinical or serious depression. And I know some of you listening, probably deal with that. And so, again, some people might listen and be like, Oh, my God, well, I

Elizabeth DiAlto  08:59

just really do you have to acknowledge every single, tiny damn thing. And honestly, I really do, because this is what inclusivity is, you know, some of you sitting here listening to this episode, probably had an experience within the last five minutes to be like, Oh, damn, this is a rare occasion on which somebody has named something that I actually experience. And I get that feedback a lot from folks. So yeah, I do always take the time to try to think of and include and mention and acknowledge as many friggin things as I could possibly think of. And even in our community, one of the reasons why people stay year in and year out, is because while there is no such thing as a completely safe space anywhere, for anybody, because we’re all too diverse for that, and have such a wide range of complex and nuanced experiences. We really do go out of our way to make sure people know that even if we don’t understand, even if we can’t relate even if we don’t know where you’re coming from. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  09:54

What we do know is that you’re out there and you’re experiencing something and it’s fucking hard, and it sucks. And we’re never going to just love and light you. And even though you know, I love my Carebear stairs, and I’m a big advocate for prayer and energy work, and, you know many alternative healing modalities, we live in the real world, y’all. And some of the shit is really hard, and make some people’s lives tremendously difficult in ways that some folks will never ever, ever have to deal with relate to think about. But I just want you to know, even if I don’t deal with it, I think about it. And we hear you.

Elizabeth DiAlto  10:31

So all of these things, whether it’s injury, illness, body pain, change, anything chronic weight gain, weight loss, various conditions and disorders, I look at all of us as invitations to deeper liberation, and embodiment, deeper acceptance, deeper respect and deeper love for the self. Especially because we are so cultured, and so socialized, to just absolutely put able bodied, pneus. Health, I mean, you got to put always, always we have to put health and air quotes, because it just means something different to everybody. Right. But you know, we live in this world with huge health and fitness and beauty industries, and big like medical industrial complexes, and not to mention like health and wellness influencers, all these products and cleanses and detoxes. And the westernization of yoga. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  11:31

There’s just so many wild standards and ideals that become these norms, or these things that are so idealized, and if you fall outside of it, or if it’s not accessible to you, and you live in a place or in a world that you have access to the internet, which if you’re listening to this podcast you do, you’re probably inundated with content, information, images, videos of experiences that might be out of reach for you, for whatever reason, maybe always or just for a period of time. And that can really be so painful, and so challenging. And so when I say I use all of these things as invitations to deeper liberation and embodiment, there are elements and you hear me whenever I talk about liberation, I’m always going to talk about things like context, nuance, complexity, curiosity, humility, right? So how can we accept ourselves, trust ourselves, respect ourselves, love and appreciate ourselves, no matter what, even when we don’t fit into the standards, the norms or the ideals, even when we do right, and we don’t walk around feeling guilty about that. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  12:51

Some of us have certain privileges or certain access, some of us don’t. But how can I just accept the broad spectrum of experiences I’m having as a physical being with the body, no matter what culture society, whoever pop culture thinks, is right, or best, or this word that drives me bananas, optimal. Everybody’s optimal, is freaking different.

Elizabeth DiAlto  13:23

So the other thing is, something I always like to bring up around acceptance here is that acceptance is not approval, you can accept something and have immense compassion for it. Because compassion is part of acceptance, you can accept something and have immense compassion for it, and also want to change it. Because acceptance is just the absence of resistance, right? And when we want to change something, and we’re coming from a place of acceptance, versus when we want to change something and we’re coming from a place of resistance, the energetics are really quite different. Because there again, there’s these variables like tolerance and compassion might be dramatically different. Our emotions, our personal connection or attachment to the outcomes might be dramatically different. If we’re coming from a place of acceptance, versus resistance. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  14:20

And you know, these are the types of things we have so many workshops in the wild soul sacred body membership, to talk about things like forgiveness, alkalizing, anger dealing with your feelings. We have all kinds of Healing Meditations and embodiment practices, wild soul wisdom, wild soul flow classes, to really help people get into like the nitty gritty of this and see how it specifically applies to them. We also have a part of our self love framework is self acceptance. So we get into that in a much deeper way. So if these concepts what I want to say is, you know, in a short podcast episode, I can’t like deep dive the way I would in like a two and a half In some cases, three hour workshop, like what’s available in membership, but I just at least want to plant the seed that you can experience acceptance of something, while also wanting to change it, or have a different experience without being mad or angry about it without having resistance to it without being super impatient about it. You can bring tremendous grace to it. And you can approach the process of healing or change or growth or transformation, with more joy, flexibility, ease, surrender, and things like that, then angst feeling shitty about yourself, chasing magic bullets, because you just want to have the result as soon as possible, which often can set you back.

Elizabeth DiAlto  15:47

And I’ll tell you, I’m no stranger to that kind of stuff. You know, one of the things I believe over the years that exacerbated my gallbladder issues, were trying things like going keto, when I wanted to be like getting back in shape, or even some different detoxes and cleanses I did over the years, I’m so used to be so much more curious about that stuff. Now, I’m much more into a lifestyle of moderation, or what my friend Joe Coleman calls moderation. 365. Because for me, I need things to be long term sustainable. I’m over, I am divorced from the search for magic bullets or quick fixes. Because for me, in my own personal experience, and you do whatever you want to do, but for me, that’s never been the most loving, trusting, accepting, or self respecting choices I’ve made. So that’s what I want to say about navigating injury, illness, chronic stuff, body changes, and stuff like that really is just such a deep invitation into acceptance, love, trust, deeper liberation, because all of those things are liberatory, and embodiment.

Elizabeth DiAlto  16:56

And then what’s beautiful about that as the ripple effects it has to the people around you, especially one of my best personal examples is, as I’ve just fallen more in love with myself, and come into an even more beautiful life, self expression, body of work, business, all these different areas love life, romance, sex, intimacy, friendship, all these things, as I’ve gained weight, right? Not that I came into those things because I gained weight. But I didn’t deny myself a friggin thing. Because I gained weight, which there’s a lot of people who withhold and deny themselves things and experiences, trying things out, traveling, going to events, putting themselves out there being visible in their work, I mean, for some people that can touch every single area of their life, because they don’t feel comfortable or confident in how they look. And that’s just not something I’ve ever allowed myself to do. I refuse.

Elizabeth DiAlto  17:52

So another question that came in was about anxious attachment style. Now, if you’re familiar with the attachment styles, some of you are probably way more familiar with them than I am. I read not even the whole entire book called attached many years ago. But I’m familiar with anxious attachment, because for the most part, I don’t remember if there was an actual term for this, my attachment before I really healed my codependency stuff. Many years ago, I was inclined to kind of respond and go the opposite of whatever the person I was in relationship with was ends because of my own history. It tended to be that I was attracted more to emotionally unavailable people who would be more avoidant, which would trigger me into more anxious type behavior. Once I moved more towards secure attachment, I just don’t really have that anxious stuff anymore. And it really came from getting to that route and noticing that I for you know, reasons of you know, witnessing things in my family growing up, especially with the men in my family. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  19:03

The men were more avoidant, the women were more anxious, and the men were more emotionally unavailable, which in some cases, the women have their own things going on. But when people are emotionally unavailable, or avoidant, that can be real, real anxiety inducing attachment style stuff aside, it’s just so frustrating. It’s just so hard to deal with, especially if you’re someone who’s built for connection, intimacy, communication, especially if you’re someone who is not conflict averse, you know, dealing with people who are it’s just really hard because we just want to talk about things we want to know where we stand, we want to know what’s going on. So we know what direction we’re moving in or not. If things are safe or if they’re not. And you know, even aside from attachment styles, there’s all kinds of reasons why people might feel unsafe, which might trigger anxiety, or anxious attached behaviors, right like chasing overcome Communicating overcompensating over giving, overdoing, anticipating other people’s behaviors and things like that.

Elizabeth DiAlto  20:05

So what I did that really helped me which again, I’m just sharing from experience and also opinion, from experience helping a lot of other people through stuff like this not necessarily rooted in like the deep psychology of attachment styles, because I am not even, I wouldn’t even call myself a novice in that stuff. I have, like only very mildly scratched the surface. So take this at whatever level you want to take it. But in terms of any anxiety, anxiety is rooted in fear. Right? When we look at and this, I’m going to talk about this in the next question, because someone asked about feeling feelings. Something I refer to a lot is the feelings wheel. Feelings wheel is so great. Essentially, there are only there’s six core emotions, happy, sad, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise. And anxiety, then stems out of fear. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  20:58

So if we’re feeling anxious about something, or towards someone, it’s really because we’re afraid of something, we’re afraid of some outcome, we’re afraid of some consequence, or we’re anticipated, you’ve all probably heard people say, The anticipation is worse than the actual fear. So you know, sometimes we can get ourselves really hyped up about possible outcomes, even if there’s like no actual evidence that they’re even going to happen, or we’re moving in that direction. So for me, one of the things that was really helpful, especially in healing from codependency was to look to really identify what emotional unavailability looked like, and what avoidant behavior looked like, because those were the things that would trigger me into anxious responses or anxious reactions. Because by nature, I’m not an anxious person. So it’s always in response, it was always in reaction. And you know, some of you listening, it might might not be that way. You might be an anxious person by nature. But either way, it’s about what is the fear? What are you afraid of? Is it rejection? Is it abandonment is a betrayal and really digging into what are the nuanced differences between those things? And why right

Elizabeth DiAlto  22:20

you know, something I’ve referenced ad nauseam over the years, both on this podcast, in numerous workshops, I’ve taught in my membership in all kinds of things. Like every program retreat I’ve ever run, at some point or another comes up, my dear friend, Terry Cole, who’s been on the podcast like three times, she has a great book called boundary boss, she has an amazing podcast. Terry has these three questions that she taught me back in the day? Which are who does this remind me of? When have I felt this way before? And why does this feel familiar? Those three questions which I just affectionately call the Terry Cole questions, really help us go? Oh, right. So I get to the root point to the root of what’s going on. So if you’re feeling anxious, if you’re triggered into anxious attachment, behaviors, reactions, responses, whatever, running through those questions, can really help you get to the root, like, where did that come from. And then once you identify the root of something, or you see what the pattern is, sometimes it’s not just about getting to the root, it’s about identifying the pattern, right? Like my pattern was being attracted to avoidant, and emotionally unavailable men specifically, 

Elizabeth DiAlto  23:33

I didn’t have that problem in my friendships, it was very specifically with men throughout all throughout my 20s, and into my early to middle 30s, even. So when you get to the root, or when you identify the pattern, then it’s much easier to be like, Okay, now that I know what the hell I’m actually dealing with, I can seek out the best route for healing, a pathway to healing.

Elizabeth DiAlto  24:00

So those are my thoughts on the anxious attachment. And then, which again, at the point at which I made this choice, I had access to it as a choice, because I’d already done so much other work. I just decided that, for me, I was no longer there were a couple of things that tended to go hand in hand with emotional unavailability. And avoidant behavior for me. And those things are vague communication. Right? If someone does not have clear, direct, honest, open, transparent communication, I’m out. I don’t mess with it. I don’t mess with it on any level. And some people might be like, well, that’s unfair. You know, we don’t learn that and I’m like, that’s fine. But I just truly do not for me, mess with that. Because no good comes from it. Right? Even though I’m, I consider myself healed from it. codependency something I always like to say is given the right circumstances, no one is above a relapse. Right. So on a regular basis, I’m not out here being codependent anymore. But if we’re when I ever slip up, it’s because I’ve engaged with some shit that I know just doesn’t work for me. And I want you to hear me say that in that discerning way, right? It just doesn’t work for me.

Elizabeth DiAlto  25:21

I’m not judging these people. I’m not blaming them, not shaming them. Everyone has their own shit, or their reasons why some people who were vague or avoidant communicators, even people who lie and are dishonest and misleading. Why do they do that? They’re also doing it out of their own fears of rejection, abandonment, betrayal. A lot of people are out here pretending to be something they’re not because they don’t feel worthy as they are. So again, I don’t even need to get mad at people for doing that stuff. Even though it’s out of integrity, and it’s questionable. I’m just like, it doesn’t work for me.

Elizabeth DiAlto  25:56

Alright, so vague or indirect communication or avoidant communication. I don’t mess with that, as well, mixed messages. People who don’t know what they want, I don’t mess with that either. a mixed message is a no for me, I have made that choice and 2021. And that’s just been so helpful for me, as well, any kind of passive behavior, anyone who’s constantly like volleying all effort, choices, decisions or anything back to me, that is so unattractive to me, I’m not interested. And then last but not least, and they came about this more so last year. And this goes to vague communication, but I want to articulate this more specifically, because sometimes this is cultural, which, again, is another reason why I’m not mad at people, you know, if that’s their culture, whether it’s like a culture of origin, like an ethnic or heritage, and sexual related thing, I’m not going to hold that against people, that’s their culture. Because maybe if it’s a communal thing, or sometimes it has to do with, you know, a region or a religion or something like that, I’m not gonna hold that stuff against people. But for me, again, I’m just real clear on what works for me, and what doesn’t work for me. So I just don’t engage, or I disengage, like immediately, when someone shows me that that’s who and how they are, and they’re not working on it, they’re not willing to, like, I’ll address it first. And then how they respond, says a lot. 

Elizabeth DiAlto  27:31

And then I’ll keep it moving from there. So part of it is also just identifying what are the things that trigger you into anxious attachment, choices, behaviors, responses, and being like, cool, I could work on it if I want to, or I could just choose not to engage with those types of things. And that’s totally up to you. There’s certain things that for me, I’m just not really that interested in working on. Because there’s so many other things that are so much more interesting and intriguing. And for me, I consider it like higher leverage, right? Like, working on this specific thing is gonna get me so much further in my life, towards my health, my relationships, my vision, and my purpose and other things that are so much more important to me. So you also do get to rank things by value and priority when you’re deciding what to work on.

Elizabeth DiAlto  28:19

And then the last thing someone asks, which I love, how do you start feeling your feelings when you’ve avoided them for a really long time. And so this is also super relevant as I invite you all to check out the wild soul sacred body membership, because embodiment work is so incredible for this, doing practices that aren’t even necessarily directly working mentally through processing feelings and emotions, help to re sensitize you. So when I say things like get out of your head and into your body, and when we talk about how sensuality, connecting to your senses, I call it learning to speak your own body’s unique language of the senses. That’s not just about like pleasure or sexuality. That’s about knowing how the fuck you feel, and learning what your body’s signals are, what like senses accompany with what senses are sensations in the body, accompany different feelings and emotions, different energetic states and stuff like that. So you begin to get fluent in your own body’s signals. And the way your body communicates you to let you know, how are you feeling? What’s going on? What do you need? When do you feel safe? When do you not feel safe? When are you depleted or tired or stressed or whatever. And so, this is about re sensitizing yourself to feelings and emotions sensations.

Elizabeth DiAlto  29:45

And recently at the time this interview goes live, which will be February 27 2023. I have not yet released the real up level interview series. It will be out on April 3, and you can begin signing up for that March. 13th So if you want to get on the interest list for that, go and untamed yourself.com forward slash real uplevel. The reason I’m bringing it up here is that one of the conversations is with Veronica Marquez. And it’s about how to have hard conversations how to actually navigate conflict for change. And one of the things that she shared because she has done some trainings with Gabor Matta is really learning and practicing discerning with between what are your actual emotions? And what are your perceptions, which is such a useful thing. And I’m not going to dive into that, because really, she’s the one who is more fluent in that. And we had such a great conversation. That’s part of that real up level business interview series. So check that out, if you want to dive deeper into that and learn more about that.

Elizabeth DiAlto  30:48

But I mentioned the feelings wheel earlier. And the thing I love about the feelings wheel is it really helps with emotional literacy. There’s also like advanced feelings, wheels now, where people also it’s the feelings and sensations wheel. And you can google those things. I might even get a link to it in the show notes because there are many different versions. But again, the core emotions that all other feelings and emotions stem from our happy, sad, angry, fear, disgust and surprise. So for example, off of happy, we might have elated we might have joyful, off of sad we might have depressed grief comes from sadness, right off of anger, we might have rage, off of fear I mentioned earlier, we have anxiety, insecurity, off of disgust, hate might come off of disgust, off of surprise, there’s excited, there’s anticipation. And so by knowing those six core feelings, whenever you’re feeling something, and again, the word feelings and emotions, those things get swapped out interchangeably, often, but by having those six core emotions and knowing what they are, when you’ve avoided your feelings for a long time, even if you just start with those six, you can just ask yourself, What am I feeling? Is it rooted in again, roots? You’re always gonna hear me talking about roots, right? In all kinds of contexts. Is this rooted in Happy, sad? anger, fear, disgust or surprise? And then you can name it. And that’s what’s cool about the feelings will you literally have like a little reference to go wrong? What am I feeling? It’s like, you know, spinning around looking around the wheel to like, name the thing.

Elizabeth DiAlto  32:32

And then what’s cool about that, as you get in your senses, then you can notice patterns. Well, I’m feeling sad. But before I even noticed, or could name it, I was sad. I noticed this like heavy clenching, feeling in my heart. And I wanted to cry, but I didn’t know why. I felt like crying for no reason. Oh, God, it that is my body telling me I’m sad. And then maybe you go to the root, what am I sad about what’s going on. So in the wild soul sacred body membership. We have our signature embodiment classes, my wild soul movement classes, which are wild soul wisdom and wild soul flow. We use meditation, gentle, sensual movement, and either a healing mantra, or a playlist. And what this does is it really lets you get into your feeling body without being in your head without doing the mental analysis. And in some cases, some of you know this is you mental over analysis, right? Because often, when we start feeling stuff in our body, we go right up into our head to try to start explaining it. And in some cases, explaining it to understand it and name it, identify it, and other cases to explain it away, or stuff it or talk ourselves out of feeling how we actually feel, or prematurely coach ourselves out of feeling what we feel trying to rush the process, rather than just allow the process, allow them emotions to ride themselves out.

Elizabeth DiAlto  34:00

We also have Healing Meditations for things like anxiety, grief, fear, working through big hot emotions and stuff like that, which really, really helped people as they are on the journey is to re sensitize themselves to get in touch with their feelings, to let themselves feel their feelings. And I will be always banging the drum of how important it is to feel your feelings. Because when we don’t when we just stuff stuff, first of all, it comes out sideways, eventually. And it can really cause a lot of damage and a lot of harm to yourself and others in all kinds of contexts and all kinds of ways. It also causes health issues, right? When we just stuff that stuff, it has to go somewhere. And fairly often it will manifest in a variety of ways. In with through around the body. It can affect your energy, it affects your sleep, it affects your appetite, it affects your brain function. So many so many friggin things.

Elizabeth DiAlto  34:55

So I hope any of that was helpful if it was find me on Instagram at Elizabeth D alto, let me know All I know, you know, the podcast has been around for so many years, I’ve never been one of those people that is like asking people every damn episode to like, go and review the podcast. But every once in a while I remember to do that. So I’m remembering today, wherever you listen to the show. If you liked the show, especially if you’re a loyal listener, we’ve ever gotten something out of an episode, please leave us a review or rating or review, wherever it is Apple, Spotify, Google podcasts, all the different places that kids are listening to podcasts these days. And then just remember, if you want to check out the membership, go to untamed yourself.com forward slash membership, if you want to check out that real up level business interview series that was untamed yourself.com forward slash real up level.

Elizabeth DiAlto  35:41

And if you want links to any thing else that I mentioned in the show today, because I did toss around a lot of references. Just go find the show notes at untamed yourself.com forward slash podcast. Thank you so so much for listening. We’ll see you next week.