How to Unconsume Yourself with Elizabeth DiAlto

Do you feel consumed by worry, fear, self-doubt or comparison? Have you ever thought about what it would looked like to uncomsume yourself?

Maybe you find that you’re overconsuming (food, media, the opinions of others) and that overconsumption is robbing you of joy, peace and compassion.

If you’re living your life comparing yourself to others or trying to force yourself to behave and think the way dominant culture suggests you “should”, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment, because regardless of what the coaching world suggests, usually a one size fits all approach doesn’t work for us all.

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In today’s episode, I’m sharing how you can begin to unconsume yourself by looking at those things that consistently consume you and then consciously make choices about how to let those things go.

We’ll take a look at how Human Design can help you better understand how you uniquely manifest in this world, we’ll go over the my Embodied self love framework (self-awareness, self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-trust, self-respect/boundaries), and I’ll show you what it looks like to take a life inventory to see where you might be the most consumed by things that do not serve you.

If you enjoy today’s episode and want to dive deeper into this conversation and into the work of unconsuming yourself, check out my Self-Love Immersion at untameyourself.com/selflove. The immersion is designed to help you do the deep work so that you can come out of it with real deal self love as your super power.

Listen to episode 390 now!

In episode 390 of the Embodied Podcast we discuss:

[2:36] One size doesn’t fit all – not everything is universal
[4:12] Stop comparing yourself to people who aren’t on the same journey
[6:30] Understanding how astrology affects our behaviors
[7:41] Dominant culture’s role in our lives and in the results we get
[8:59] Manifestation arrows and the directions they point (what that tells us about ourselves)
[9:30] Manifesting by feeling rather than numbers
[11:09] Unconsume yourself – what does it mean?
[12:49} What are you consumed by? What are you consuming too much of?
[13:58] Elizabeth’s example of what protecting your resources and not getting consumed by interruptions in your day
[15:18} What it looks like to give yourself consideration
[16:50] are you walking the dog, or is the dog walking you?
[19:00] how to detox from judgment and guilt
[20:14] Understanding the difference between toxic people and toxic behavior
[21:11] the main difference between an unhealthy reaction and a healthy response
[23:53] the types of overconsumption
[25:42] examples of what we get consumed by
[29:04] one thing to stop doing now and why acceptance is the ultimate stepping stone
[30:36] take a life inventory
[33:50] what happens when you consume more than you release
[34:08] the 6 aspects of the self-love framework
[36:03] Elizabeth’s example of how being consumed is like having a bad wifi connection
[41:00] who should sign up for the self-love immersion course

Resources mentioned by Elizabeth in episode 390 “How to Unconsume Yourself”:

Quotes from this Week’s Episode of the Embodied Podcast:

“We tend to compare ourselves to things and sometimes they’re just really unfair comparisons” [04:09:56]
“Unconume yourself is about being not consumed. So it’s the process of really looking at very popular and consistent things that consume us and then consciously making choices about how to let some of that stuff go.” [16:03:02]
“When we detox from judgment, blame and guilt, we’re able to access things like compassion, forgiveness and self-love.” [20:58:99]
“Some people shit on acceptance, like it isn’t the biggest stepping stone into almost everything else that we want. Because when we aren’t accepting things we’re resisting them and in the presence of resistance energy, it’s really hard to have ease and flow.” [29:49:14]
“Consuming more than you release means you need to integrate.” [33:30:32]
“Having that clarity of mind, clarity of heart, allows you to better feel, in an embodied way, what’s actually going on in you and around you.” [34:53:04]

How was this episode for you?

Was this episode helpful for you today? I’d love to know what quote or lesson touched your soul. Let me know in the comments below OR share the episode on Instagram, tag me your stories @elizabethdialto, or send me a DM!

About the Embodied Podcast with Elizabeth DiAlto

Since 2013 I’ve been developing a body of work that helps women embody self-love, healing, and wholeness. We do this by focusing on the four levels of consciousness – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

In practical terms, this looks like exploring tools and practices to help you tune into the deep wisdom of the body and the knowing of the heart, which I believe are gateways to our souls. Then we cultivate a new relationship with our minds that allows the mind to serve this wisdom and knowledge and soul connection, rather than override it, which is what many of us were taught.

If you’ve been doing self-help or spiritual development work for a while, these are the types of foundational things that often people overlook in pursuit of fancier concepts that often aren’t practical or sustainable. Here, we will focus on building these strong foundations so you can honestly and thoroughly embody self-love. If you’re feeling it, subscribe to the show, and leave us a review wherever you listen from. You can also keep up with show updates and community discussion on Instagram here.

Transcript for Episode 390 “How to Unconsume Yourself“:

Hello, everybody, welcome to the Embodied Podcast in 2022, I am your host Elizabeth DiAlto, and since 2013, I have been teaching women how to harness the power of their sacred bodies and free their wild souls. This podcast became a big part of that work when we launched in 2015, and what listeners consistently share that they love about the show is how we always aim to address, synthesize, and integrate the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of not just healing, but finding self-love, wholeness and liberation. The show is available on all podcast players and YouTube, and our show notes pages, which you can find at untameyourself.com/podcast include minute markers and transcripts. If you’re a note taker, or it’s just helpful for you to see things in writing, head on over there and check it out, and thank you so, so much for listening, your time, energy, and attention is valuable and precious, and I appreciate that you’d focus any of it here with me and our guests, let’s get into the show.

Hello, everybody, welcome to episode number 390 of the Embodied Podcast, I am your host, Elizabeth DiAlto, and today we are talking about two big chunks of my work and things that I’m currently doing with, and around those that are available to you, if you’re interested, but I’m just also gonna be sharing the concepts with you, so those of you who are more like DIY people, you are more than welcome to take it and run with it, those of you who prefer some guidance, some support, some community, some hand holding around things, you are welcome to check out and join the self-love immersion that I’m kicking off in June, which I’ll talk a little bit more about that later, but first I wanted to talk about this unconsume yourself work that I have resurrected from the archives of things that I used to do. Some of you have probably heard me mention it, seen my emails, social posts, and things like that, but many years ago, it was 2017 was when I first created this, I was noticing for myself and others, because I’m always looking at anything I’m gonna teach, do, create, or talk about, I’m always gonna apply it to myself before I dare take it to other people. And not because my experiences are universal or anything like that, but because I’m an embodiment person as an embodiment specialist it’s important for me to run things through my own system and see how they work, see how they function, before I would take it and try to apply something to anyone else. And some of you also know I’m super obsessed with figuring out how people work, how people are built, and the different nuances and intricacies of what’s going, excuse me, of what’s going on with people, so we can look at if or how, or even why something may or may not work for somebody, or specifically, how we can apply things to that person based on who they are, how they’re built, their lived experiences, so that it can be effective for them. Some of you’ve heard me talk about this over the years, I’m sure you’ve heard other people talk about this, and I’m sure you’ve experienced it in your own life how there’s a lot of teachers, there’s a lot of people out there who might have frameworks or systems or processes, but they talk about it as if it’s universally applicable, and some things just don’t work for some people.

This actually reminds me a lot of when I was starting out my career in my online business and I was still in fitness, at the time I had just come out of a mastermind with a very big name in the industry, and I got connected with a lot of her friends, a lot of her peers, I even ended up dating one of those people for a year and a half, so I was really rolling with these people who were, who had much more established businesses than I do, who were making way more money than I was, and they were constantly trying to get me to do things that just didn’t work for me. And during those first couple years, I remember sometimes really feeling like there was something wrong with me, because I wasn’t getting the same results as these people, and in some cases I was looking at these people, just to be honest, being like, damn, I’m smarter than that person, I’m definitely kinder, more loving, and more compassionate than that person, I have more integrity than this person, I was noticing I had aspects and qualities about me that in some cases were actually much better than these other people, and yet they were getting better results. And the result though, the only result I was really measuring was, they were just making more money than me. They did different things than I did, they had different business models, they were talking to different groups of people, their values were different, they cared about different things than I did, so of course, they would be getting a different result. And those of you that listen to this podcast regularly know I’m always about those nuances and those complexities and the context for all of these things matters so much, because we tend to compare ourselves to things, and sometimes it’s just really unfair comparisons, whether we’re at the beginning of a journey and we’re comparing ourselves to folks who are much further along, which doesn’t make sense, ’cause they’ve had all this experience we haven’t had, or whether we’re comparing ourselves to people that just have access to things and resources that we don’t have, sometimes it’s education, knowledge, and awareness, or a network and connections, or whatever it is, I even remember when I was first starting my online business, I was very fortunate to have a mom who at that point had been in her career for so long and had moved up quite a ways, and jumped some tax brackets, if you will, and I ran outta money a couple of times and my mom was able to float me, I was able to take loans from my mom rather than a bank and have to pay all this interest, so that was very fortunate that I had access to that, but even with that, what my mom was able to float me or help me with was nothing compared to people who had these multiple six figure inheritances, or some people even have trust funds, but a lot of people don’t disclose that stuff, so I’d be sitting around like, how the hell is that person making that much money or doing that? Or sometimes I didn’t know that people had a spouse who was helping them out and they weren’t having to completely take care of themselves like I was, or sometimes people had worked in corporate and had all this savings or a retirement account that they could liquidate. I dated someone once who did that to start his business, he liquidated a retirement account to the tune of like five or six figures, I forget how much money it was, and I bring this up around money, this is just one example, this is just one context to kick off this episode, so you all might be able to consider for yourselves where and how you might be looking at other people, especially in this social media age where you could just be scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and seeing all kinds of people doing things that you want to be doing or having experiences that you want to be having, whether it has to do with family, or kids, or work, or career, creativity, or traveling, or living somewhere, or whatever, and it can just help you have more compassion for yourself and not compare yourself to people that it literally makes no sense to compare yourself to.

And the other thing I wanna bring up around that is you all know I love things like astrology in human design, for all the ways that they help us really understand how we’re built, because sometimes we’re also looking at people that are built so differently than we are, some people are much more inclined to be able to stick to a routine and be consistent about certain things, which is obviously gonna affect their results around all kinds of things, again, whether it’s in business, career, health, fitness, things like this, maybe you’re not built that way, maybe you’re much more of a flowy person who needs to constantly be changing up your environment or your rituals or your routine, and then we also have to look at the over culture, we have to look at societal programming and conditioning, we have to look at dominant culture, sometimes and go, great, well, this is the overall preference, this is the thing that gets shared as if it is the best or ideal, and that’s just doesn’t work for me, and that was how it was for me and my business for many years. I remember, I’ll share one more example about this, just so it can anchor in, one of the things I’ve been geeking out lately with on human design are the arrows, if you’ve ever looked at your human design chart, there are arrows around the head, and it’s not something that a lot of people, a lot of human design people really talk about early on in the journey, but what’s cool about these arrows is some of them point left and some of them point right, and if they point left, that is like being more masculine or more left-brained, more structure, consistency, and routine oriented, and if they point right, that’s more like the feminine energy, which is more like right brain, like creative, less structure, more flow, more organically evolving and unfolding. And so those four arrows, they mean different things, there’s one for digestion, there’s one for your environment, there’s one for your awareness, and there’s one for how you manifest.

And so to go back to the example that I started the podcast with, the manifestation one, my manifestation arrow points right, so I am not a specific manifestor, which means that setting a goal, like a number, like I wanna make this much money this year, I wanna have this many people join my program, that doesn’t really work for me, because that’s not how I do things, and it’s funny, because number goals like that have never worked for me, but I tend to have worked in environments and industries that were really numbers focused, so when I started my career in sales, there was always a number goal, I never hit number goals. And for years I would beat myself up, because some people just hit their numbers, nail their numbers, know their numbers, and I’m like, yeah, that doesn’t, I don’t do that, and so I would be like, what’s wrong with me? Do I just not know how to set goals? Do I not know how to pick? Am I being delusional or unrealistic? But it’s more that I manifest by how something feels, I manifest, it’s more broad, it’s more bigger picture. So for me, rather than I wanna make this much money this year, to focus on something like what I wanna be able to do with my money, I wanna be able to plant this many trees, I wanna be able to fund this liberation movement in Puerto Rico, I wanna be able to give money to this, or I wanna be able to do that, or get a nicer comforter for my bed, whatever, on the smallest scale to the largest scale for me, setting goals, especially around money or income, have always been around, well, what am I gonna be able to do with that? What am I gonna be able to contribute to? What am I gonna be able to give? Maybe it’s about investing back in the business or hiring someone, so for me, it’s less about hit these numbers, this is the specific goal, or something like, I wanna have this many employees, I used to have a friend, that’s how her goals were, I wanna have 10 people working for me, and I’m like, I don’t know if I need 10 people, but here’s what I wanna be able to get done, and I just need the number of people that’s gonna help me get that done. And so for me, it’s been a lot more about figuring out, feeling into things as I go, whereas some people that like this many, that many, this, really, really works for them, and that will drive them energetically.

So unconsuming yourself, let’s talk about this, I made this up, this is a term I coined in 2017, and I know it might sound kind of weird, it’s obviously, unconsume is a made up word, but if we break down what the words actually mean, the definition of consume, we can look at it in a couple different ways, it could be to eat, drink, or ingest, buy goods or services, it could be about using up a resource, like consuming water, consuming electricity, and it could be about feelings or energy wise absorbing all of the energy and attention of something. So like, this is consuming me, thinking about this thing is consuming me, or this dream, this goal is consuming me, like I think about it when I wake up in the morning, I think about it before I go to bed at night. And so when we look at, ’cause I’m always reverse engineering things, I’m a big synthesizer, I love frameworks, and I got all this Virgo and Mercury energy and I love efficiency, I love effectiveness, and I got that Capricorn moon, so progress is very important to me, and I love being able to measure even intangible things, finding ways to measure them. So when we look at our consumption, or what’s consuming us, or how consumed we are, so that’s when I go through my unconsume yourself material, those are really the things we’re looking at. What’s my consumption, literally, what am I consuming? What am I consumed by? What is consuming me? What’s eating me up or taking up my mental real estate, emotional real estate? What’s filling my thoughts? What’s distracting me? So what am I consuming? What’s my consumption? What am I taking in? What am I being consumed by? And then what am I also consuming in terms of using up, by way of not just physical resources, but also again, my mental, my emotional, my spiritual, and let me give you, let me put that in context, because I think that’s something often that people don’t measure, so even just yesterday, I had the whole day open, because I needed to do a lot of writing and creating, and during that day I had two friends reach out to me about their own, I have a lot of friends who are also in businesses and we’re constantly getting feedback from each other, so two friends reach out to me with some feedback questions, and when I saw them come in, I was like, all right, I’m gonna have to save this till the end of the day, because I personally need all my focus, all my attention, and all my creative attention for what I’m doing right now, and if I would’ve interrupted myself to go listen to my friend’s three minute message and answer her thing, that would’ve taken me off, excuse me, my own course.

So, whew, it’s very early in the morning you all, I just woke up, I like rolled outta bed and started recording the podcast, so you’re getting morning voice over here. So that’s an example, if I were to even allocate a little bit of my mental attention, my creative energy to what was going on for my friends, that would’ve been taking away from my tasks at hand, and I know myself, that could actually really fuck up a whole day for me. So I was not going to use up the resource of my mental and creative attention for that until I got to the end of the day, and then it was like, whatever I had left over, I could give to that, but I wasn’t gonna prime time in the middle of my day, at the height of my resources, use it for something that wasn’t the priority for me on that day. And that’s just not something, that level of consideration is often not something a lot of us give ourselves, we just let ourselves, which I really used to be the queen of this, we let ourselves get pulled in a million different directions all day. Now, I know some people have neural divergences, ADD, ADHD, stuff like this, which might also contribute to things like that, and that needs to be factored in and considered, but everything that I talk about in unconsume yourself could be applied to anyone in their own context. I design everything that way, so no matter who you are, what you’ve got going on, you could still get something out of, you could still apply and get some kind of result or some kind of outcome from the frameworks, and from the concepts, and from the tools and practices. So we’ve talked about what consume means, and then the prefix ‘un’ means not.

So unconsume yourself is about being not consumed, so it’s the process of really looking at very popular and consistent things that consume us, and then consciously making choices about how to let some of that stuff go, or make some changes in our lives so that we can do things, or set ourselves up to have more energy and resources for the things that are our priorities and the things that we value the most, rather than just getting dragged around all over the place. You know what? It’s so funny, the image that just popped into my mind, when I was little, the street that I grew up on, Remick Avenue on Staten Island, I lived there till I was 10, there were a couple of families on the street that had really big dogs, one family had rottweilers and this other family had huge German Shepherd, and the guy who owned the German Shepherd was so skinny, me and my brother used to watch it out the window, it was so funny, it was like the dog was walking him, it was really like, sometimes it looked like his feet weren’t even touching the ground, the dog was just dragging, it’s like the guy was bouncing down the street and the dog was just dragging him, ’cause it looked like he was light as a feather, and this was just a big, strong dog, it was so funny, I mean, we were little so we thought it was hilarious, but that’s the image that popped into my head when I was talking about this. So feel into that image for yourself, what area of your life does it feel like you got some big ass dog walking you, just dragging you around, and unconsume yourself, especially the way I’ve been teaching it recently broken down into these three areas are like showing you, what are your big dogs? What are the things that are dragging you around and down your street? So I wanted to make this episode, partly because if you’re listening to this in real time or after, the recent, in May of 2022, free unconsume yourself training is underway, which means that you can’t watch it, you can’t get access to it right now, but I’ve been talking about it so much, and so if you’re missing out, I wanted to at least give you some nuggets that maybe you could work on on your own.

So in unconsume yourself, I have broken it into these three different workshops, and one of them is how to detox from judgment, blame, and guilt. Judgment, blame, and guilt, which are adjacent to a lot of other mental and emotional experiences that really take up a lot of real estate in your life, are incredible things that everybody deals with on some level or another, that could be so distracting and can really be so disruptive to intimacy, harmony, connection, closeness, community, getting the support that you need, judgment, blame and guilt. So when I say we detox from that, those things are like toxins, judgment, blame, and guilt in your system, that then affect your behavior. And something I like to clarify, people these days, and for many years now, talk about toxic people, I don’t actually believe that anyone is toxic, but I do believe that behavior can be toxic. So because even me personally sometimes, I might do something like a couple weeks ago, I screamed at someone in an intersection and gave them a middle finger out my car window, that’s a toxic behavior, but I’m not a toxic person. I do that maybe once every couple of years, that doesn’t make me toxic, but I did a toxic type thing. So I like to make that distinction, because what it also does is remove shame and the way people beat themselves up, or they’re internalized, what’s wrong with me, I shouldn’t be doing this, when that happened, by the way, when I gave that person the middle finger out my car window, I could have been like, what’s wrong with you? You’re a spiritual guide, you teach self-love, and how could you, and I was like, no, that was just me being a fucking person. ‘Cause that guy ran the intersection and almost t-boned me, survival instinct kicked in and my inner Staten Island came out. So when we detox from judgment, blame, and guilt, we’re able to access things like compassion, forgiveness, self-love, we’re able to take our time. And so detoxing from judgment, blame, and guilt also lets us shift from unhealthy reactions into healthy responses, and the big difference between being inclined to have unhealthy reactions is space, mental and emotional space. So that’s also why I was calling unconsume yourself a life detox, or more specifically, a mental and emotional detox, because when we can detox what’s going on in our minds constantly, and when we can detox what’s going on with our emotions, we’ll just have more space, which means we’ll have the opportunity to pause. And in unconsume yourself, I’m not specifically talking about the nervous system, but all of these things affect the nervous system, and having more pause, having less stress, being less tightly wound, like when you can unwind yourself and you can be more calm and a bit more relaxed, you can always make better choices, and not only can you make better choices, but you can have awareness, you could even see that there are better choices available in moments when there are also shitty choices available.

So when we unconsume, it’s like weeding the garden, why do you weed the garden? So that you can then plant something new and it could grow. So the whole point of unconsuming is to create this space, is to create some fertile grounds so that you could plant new seeds, so you could have different experiences, so that beauty can emerge where before it was all overcome with things that were not aiding the fertility or the growth of the land. So you are the land I’m talking about here y’all. Now, it’s helpful to think about what you over consume and what you’re over consumed by. And again, we break that down in the unconsume yourself training, because it’s hard to see these things yourself often, often when someone brings it up, I’m sure even in the 20 or so minutes that I’ve been talking on this podcast, you’re probably having some little light bulbs here and there, or you’re probably going, oh, I hadn’t thought about this, that way. Sometimes all it takes is for a person to put something in context that you hadn’t thought about for you to be able to let something go, or see it differently, or make a different choice, or stop feeling so bad about it. So trying to do all this stuff on your own, you can, and it’s also helpful to have a guide, it’s also helpful to have other people doing the same thing. So their ahas, their insights that get shared can also spark your own. Then it’s also about looking at your life and acknowledging and seeing the results of your over consumption, and again, we’re always looking at over consumption in two ways. What are you over consuming? Whether for example, food, which then makes you feel a certain way or has an effect on your body, it could be drugs, or substances, or alcohol, I’m not drinking alcohol in 2022, I decided not to, not that I’m a big drinker anyway, but going into this year, I still had my gallbladder, and my gallbladder was bothering me, and so I knew alcohol certainly would exacerbate that, because the gallbladder and the liver are buddies and we know alcohol’s not good for the liver, so I decided I wasn’t gonna drink this year, and then once I got my gallbladder removed, I was like, well, I’m still not gonna drink, ’cause it just feels amazing, ’cause alcohol makes me really sluggish, and I’m a person who naturally wakes up in the morning with a lot of energy, and so waking up in the morning without energy makes me feel like it’s not me, it’s not myself. And so not drinking alcohol, that was also part of the reason, I didn’t wanna fuck up my gallbladder, which ended up being a non-issue, ’cause that thing got taken out, but I also wanted to have my normal levels of energy not be interfered with. So that’s again, an easy example of a substance or food or something very physical.

And then we also over consume, some of us it’s TV, or media, or other people’s business, my goodness, could do a whole podcast on how over consumed some of us are by everyone else’s business and we’re not mind in our own, keeps us distracted. And then what are you over consumed by? And so there’s the active, what am I consuming? And then what’s consuming me, way of thinking of it, which I mentioned earlier. And so for some people it’s stress, or anxiety, or it’s relationships, it’s thinking about people and wanting things to go differently, maybe you don’t get along with your boss, maybe you’re in a rough patch in your relationship, maybe you really like or love someone who isn’t ready to be with you or doesn’t feel the same way, maybe you’re having a tough time with a kid, all kinds of things, and it just weighs on you, it’s on your mind, on your heart, distracting you.

And by the way, not everything that we’re over consumed by is within our control necessarily, or is something that we can actively lessen, and what comes to my mind around that is grief. So if someone you love passed, or if you’re going through a breakup, you really can control those things, and it might be very upsetting to you. You certainly can make choices about wallowing, because there’s always, when it comes to emotional things, there are always ways in which our mind and our emotions, our thoughts and our emotions interact and feed off of each other, that we can actually make ourselves feel worse than the natural emotion wants to feel, which is something else we talk about in unconsume yourself. So this is about again, looking at your life and seeing and acknowledging the results of that. So taking a look, breaking it down into physical, mental, and emotional, and I know I’m talking about unconsume yourself a lot and it’s not even available right now, but I also, the self-love immersion that starts on June 13th, which by the way, if you’re interested in this, go to untameyourself.com/selflove, because if you are listening in the month of May, it’s actually 50% off, because this is anniversary month, this is a big celebration month, and I made it 50% off, which is like a giant sale. I only do things like this a couple times a year, and this self-love immersion is something I have not run before, and I don’t know if I’ll run it again, whenever I do deeper programs like immersions or mentorships, I usually don’t run them more than once, or I don’t run the same thing more than once. So if you’re interested in that, definitely go check it out, but I say that, because all of this unconsume yourself, the recent training will be bonused in for people who do the self-love immersion, so you’ll still get access to it if you join the self-love immersion. So we look at our physical, mental, and emotional spaces, and I think I really have always thought of this for years as real estate, like how much mental space, how much real estate do I have available? How much heart space do I have available? And then physical space is the most tangible and obvious. It’s obviously the mental and emotional that are harder to measure, but your Virgo friend loves to figure out ways to measure things. So in unconsume yourself and in the self-love immersion, when we get to self-knowledge, and acceptance, and self-awareness, I really have tangible ways that I have figured out over the years to measure those things. So the next thing that can really distract us when it comes to mental and emotional, is trying to understand things that we’re just never gonna be able to understand, trying to understand things that just don’t make any frigging sense, for example, a lot of trauma, tragedy, things that are happening in the world right now, a lot of people are living through things that nobody should have to live through and it doesn’t make any sense. And things like that can really consume us, trying to make sense of things that don’t make sense, trying to find a reason for something that doesn’t have a reason, so that we can understand, so that we could justify it, so that we could live with it.

This is a big reason why in my self-love framework, acceptance is a big piece, because some people shit on acceptance like it isn’t the biggest stepping stone into almost everything else that we want, because when we’re not accepting things, we’re resisting them, and in the presence of resistance energy, it’s really hard to have ease or flow, or in some cases move as quickly and swiftly as it is possible to move through things, we really slow ourselves down, ’cause resistance is like hitting the brakes, it’s giving us things to have friction about, resistance is friction, and so when we remove the resistance, when we can have acceptance, when we could get there, which can be really hard, but again, I have ways of helping people get to acceptance that they’re like, oh my God, I never thought I was gonna be able to accept that, and then they do, and then mental and emotional space galore opens up. And one of the ways we do this is the life inventory, we go through the different areas of your life, and I recommend doing this seasonally, by the way, at the change of the seasons to kind of just sit down and take stock, take inventory of the different areas of your life. I have a specific way that I do this, and we’ll be doing that in the first month of the self-love immersion, because the first part of the framework is self-awareness, and so part of self-awareness is not just looking at yourself, it’s not just naval gazing, it’s looking at your life, because often when people are doing their personal work, they’re inner work, they’re just looking at themselves, but one of the easiest ways to see how you’re actually showing up and the impact and the outcomes of how you’re being and behaving and the choices you’re making is to look around at your life, what is going on in your life? And those things will show you how, where, and why some of the choices you’re making may or may not actually be the best for you.

So a big problem with people being over consumed, and by the way, if you’re listening this podcast, you’re a person who’s into self-help, personal development, growth, healing, transformation, spirituality, often, those are the things that people are over consumed by, I remember, I’m thinking of one specific client, though, I’ve had this certainly happen with several people, who is the type of person who’s always accumulating more books, more stuff, more programs, more courses, but not necessarily going through or finishing anything, and then the looming pile made was making her feel like shit, and then she was feeling like she was wrong or bad because she wasn’t doing enough, and it was just creating this spiral, which is one of the reasons why our work was so helpful for her, because I synthesize and integrate a lot of things, she got a lot of freedom in our work together, she did one of my immersions last year, she got a lot of freedom from just eliminating, being like cool, I don’t have to do that right now, I can get rid of that, let’s be honest with myself, I’m never gonna do that one, and then also looking at what parts of her, what makes her continue to reach for more and more and more when she hasn’t even used what she has, which by the way, this is so common. I cannot tell you how often over the years, and I’m not criticizing anyone, because I’ve certainly done this too, I will have people in courses or communities or whatever, being like, oh, do you have any other resources for this? And I’m like, well, have you used the resources you already have? And fairly often they haven’t, because the thing is, it’s not that there’s a lack of resources, it’s that they haven’t taken the time to actually do the work and integrate. I’m gonna talk about integration in a little bit. Consuming more than you release means you need to integrate, the mind is so easily distracted and manipulated for most people, so this is why in all of my work I create frameworks, so people have benchmarks, so there’s touch points and they could actually measure things that are traditionally more intangible or immeasurable. It helps people tap in and measure their progress so they can actually see how their choices are aligning with their desires and what they say they want. So it really helps put things into context, whether they’re operating from their programming and conditioning, or they’re inner wisdom, their intuition and their truth. And so this is another really big, really important thing about unconsuming yourself and doing your self-love work, again, when I say self-love, I’m always talking about the context of my framework, which is self-awareness, self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-trust, and self-respect, and self-respect, by the way, includes boundaries, is really being able through those parts to get very clear on what is your programming, what’s your conditioned responses to things, and what’s your truth? What is actually coming from your inner wisdom? What’s actually coming from your soul? And when we unconsume, when we declutter your physical, mental, emotional spaces, we have more space to feel, because I’m an embodiment specialist, so having that space, having clarity of mind, clarity of heart allows you to better feel in an embodied way what’s actually going on within you and around you, how’s the world around you affecting you? How are your thoughts affecting you? What feelings are you hanging onto, holding onto? Perhaps what wounds are you digging in on and massaging? What pain are you making last longer than it needs to? So what consumes you?

All these things like I’m giving you so many different examples, hopefully things are clicking and popping off for you, is like static or a bad connection on the phone, because the person on the other end is speaking clearly, but you just can’t hear them, because of the static or the bad connection, or it’s like a poor WiFi connection where everything you need is there, but the connection is just really slow, so you can’t access it with as much ease. So again, unconsuming is like fixing that phone connection, getting back in the better service area, the better signal, getting back to the better WiFi connection or signal, so again, what’s there, you can access, you can get it with a lot more ease, with a lot more flow without having to struggle to get it. So another way you can think about unconsuming is eliminating interference. Now, we live in a world where of course, there are systemic and situational interferences, depending on a lot of factors that are outta our control, but what’s cool, again, I mentioned this earlier, the way I design these frameworks and these workshops is so that no matter who you are, where you are, what’s going on in your world, you can apply them and get some freedom. Some freedom you didn’t know was available to you. Everyone has freedom available to them that they don’t realize, everyone has choices available to them that they don’t realize. And the thing is, if you could realize those things on your own, you would have already. So that’s why having a program, or a course, or a group, or an immersion, or a guide, or something to show you, having other people around you doing similar work is helpful so you can actually see, so it could be illuminated. We cannot illuminate things on our own all the time. So no matter your circumstances, no matter what is going on in your life, looking at again, those physical, mental, and emotional spaces could be super helpful. And then of course, when we layer in actual real deal confidence, self-esteem, self-love, and self-worth, that’s where the courage to make the better choices that are already available to you comes from, that’s where the courage to choose freedom rather than choosing to stay consumed, and freedom can look like so many things for so many different people.

So obviously I’m obsessed with these things, finding peace and acceptance around something, instead of carrying bitterness and resentment, or anger can literally change your whole entire life. Like when I was writing the description for unconsume yourself, I described it as something that could change your whole entire life, and that’s because I taught it in 2017 and 2018, and sometimes even the simplest little thing, I used to have a mentor that would say, it only takes a small hinge to swing a big door, sometimes the simplest little thing is life changing for people. Because again, most people can’t totally see everything for themselves, in fact, I mean, I would say all people, there’s always something that someone else’s reflection or experience is going to be able to illuminate for you that you just can’t see yourself. So it’s kind of like metaphorically, you do not have eyes in the back of your head, you can’t see, we have our forward vision, we have our peripheral vision, and then we have our intuitive vision, and then there’s still gonna be blind spots, there’s still always gonna be areas that personally for ourselves, we cannot see. And our energy and our emotions are different day to day, so what’s cool about this, if you think about it, when you’re over consumed, your circuit is shorter, you’ve heard people say you’re on a short circuit or you’re tightly wound, which means it’s easier to snap or it’s easier to break. So all of this work, the unconsume yourself work and the self-love work, is about lengthening your circuit. It gives you space to respond rather than react. And I’ve talked about unconsume yourself and self-love together because, and this is something I didn’t realize back in the day, because I hadn’t created my self-love framework yet, that didn’t come to later in 2017, but more formally, really not until 2020, is that unconsume yourself is really pre-work for the self-love work, which is really amazing, and that’s why I’m bonusing it in, in the self-love immersion. So anyone who joins the immersion will get to keep the recordings of the free workshops that are available through June 8th, that are in the current unconsume yourself.

So I know I bounced around a little bit, I get so excited about this stuff, if you’re a person who has really been working on loving yourself, or even someone who hasn’t, and you’re like, I don’t even know where to start, or I’ve done all these things and nothing works, I don’t feel any better about myself, I’m still quite mean to myself or I’m not very kind to myself, or maybe I’ve gotten a little better, but I certainly, I really want to know what it is like to deeply love, trust, and accept myself, and not just for the sake of feeling those things, but for the ripple effect that happens in a whole entire life, when you have that, definitely check out the immersion, again, that’s at untameyourself.com/selflove, and I’ve taught this framework as a mini course before, and in my embodiment specialist training, it’s what we spend the first six weeks of the training on, and our first immersion, or two and a half day immersion is about, and that actually this year, which I did back in February, the immersion with my sacred embodiment specialist trainees, is what made me want to do this self-love immersion, because when we were moving on, they were like, Ooh, I mean, I could use like three more months doing this. So I was wondering like, huh, I wonder what it would be like for people if I created a container where we could take our time and literally spend a whole month on each part of the framework, self-awareness, self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-trust, self-respect, and boundaries, what might be possible? And what’s interesting is so many people go for shorter things, like I wanna do the six week thing, or the eight week thing, or the 21 days, or whatever, but those things often don’t last, and this is what I love about a longer container, six months gives us time to stretch out and do the work, and have check-ins and Q and As, and chat in our forum, and again, get that beautiful interaction between people where someone shares something which illuminates something for somebody else, so I am so excited for this, the last two immersions I ran last year, I ran immersions around my wild soul archetypes, and those were incredible, and the framework, the structure for the immersion that I came up with for the archetypes was amazing, and it’s also just happens to be that there were six archetypes, so we did it for six months, and in the self-love framework, there’s only five parts, and what I love about that is that that gives us some time in the middle, we’re gonna take some integration space to pause, to kind of just make sure, to review everything before we move on, because again, integration is super important. Integration is what helps us stay, maintain a healthy level of being unconsumed, ’cause we’re not just taken in, taken in, taken in.

So I’m so excited for all this everybody, if that calls to you at all, check it out, if not hope you got something out of the podcast, and that’s it, we’ll be back next week, I’m doing one more solo episode next week about self-love, and I’m calling it self-love in 2022, because the last time I did a self-love podcast series was 2020, and we’ve been through quite a bit since then, so I wanna go deeper, and if you haven’t listened to last week’s episode about self-love after weight gain, and that is something that you are dealing with or have dealt with, make sure you check out that episode as well, that was episode number 389. Links to everything I mentioned today could be found at the show notes page at untameyourself.com/390, and that’s it, we’ll see you soon.

Learn More in the Embodied Self-Love Mini Course