Boundaries and self love are a responsible way of engaging with what you can control in a healthy, useful way.
Boundaries evolve over time when you first start setting boundaries, they may be more like barriers, it’s ok, over time your boundaries will become both rock solid and without you having to be rigid or militant about it.
Above all else, boundaries are rooted in kindness, compassion and are meant to give you permission to live a joyful, love-filled life.
Now, I can hype up boundaries all day but we all know, they’re challenging. So in today’s episode, I offer a lot of context and perspective on boundaries.
This is episode 7 in an 8 episode series on Self -Love.
This episode is all about boundaries and what it has to do with self-love. Specifically, how boundaries are an expression of all the components of my EMBODIED Self Love Framework:
Notes from Episode 344 of the Embodied Podcast with Elizabeth DiAlto
- The importance of having boundaries with yourself,
- How boundaries are an opportunity to teach people how to treat us,
- Navigating saying yes when you mean it and no when you mean it (this is especially hard for recovering codependents and people pleasers!),
- How to deal with boundary violations and enforcing your boundaries with people who don’t respect them,
- Energetic boundaries.
In the 7th episode of the EMBODIED Self Love series we discuss
- [6:14] How people are really different right now
- [7:23] How setting boundaries evolve over time
- [10:01] What happens to us when we don’t set boundaries
- [14:10] My experience of starting over from scratch on social media
- [16:59] Examples of boundaries you could set up for yourself
- [19:39] Having boundaries around certain types of people
- [25:15] Saying “no” when you mean no and saying “yes” when you mean yes
- [30:40] Why you should pay attention to the word “should”
- [35:27] How boundaries isn’t about being rigid or policing people all the time
- [37:27] What having boundaries will do for you
- [40:25] What energetic boundaries is and why they’re important
Resources for Setting and Keeping Healthy Boundaries
- Embodied Self Love Mini-Course
- EP 288: Advice For The Sex And Love You Crave With Eva Clay
- EP 293: Deeper Dating With Ken Page
- EP 147: Terri Cole On Real Love Revolution
- Dance of Anger, The: A Woman’s Guide To Changing The Patterns Of Intimate Relationships
- Energy Hygiene
- Energetic Boundaries: How to Stay Protected and Connected in Work, Love, and Life
Quotes from this Week’s Episode of the Embodied Podcast
- “Boundaries allow you to be your best self.”
- “Boundaries evolve over time.”
- “When we set boundaries with people who don’t have their own, they’ll often be defensive or they’ll tell us we’re being mean or selfish.”
- “Boundaries are an expression of integrity.”
- “Boundaries are energy work!”
- “It is less kind to show up begrudgingly, half-heartedly, and resentfully than it is to say ‘no’ and allow someone to find a person who could show up fully.”
- “If the energy around your no is kind, loving, and compassionate to both yourself and the other person, the no doesn’t feel harsh.”
- “When you consistently set boundaries, you’re clear, less anxious, and less stressed.”
- “Always question a should, it might be valid but a lot of times it’s not.”
- “Someone invalidating your perspective, your feelings, or your experience – that’s a boundary violation.”
- “We don’t need to demonize people for not being down with our boundaries. We also don’t have to tolerate it either but we can understand that it’s disorienting for them. It’s changing the nature of the relationship.”
- “Boundaries will bring in the people closest to you, who should be closer. It’s going to repel the people who shouldn’t be as close or who maybe even shouldn’t be in your life.”
- “Boundaries are incredibly clarifying and cleansing for your relationships.”
How was this episode for you?
Was this episode helpful for you today? I’d love to know what quote or lesson touched your soul. Let me know in the comments below OR share the episode on Instagram, tag me your stories @elizabethdialto, or send me a DM!
About the Embodied Podcast with Elizabeth DiAlto
Since 2013 I’ve been developing a body of work that helps women embody self-love, healing, and wholeness. We do this by focusing on the four levels of consciousness – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
In practical terms, this looks like exploring tools and practices to help you tune into the deep wisdom of the body and the knowing of the heart, which I believe are gateways to our souls. Then we cultivate a new relationship with our minds that allows the mind to serve this wisdom and knowledge and soul connection, rather than override it, which is what many of us were taught.
The show runs in seasons now and this season we’re focusing on my EMBODIED Self Love Framework.
We’ll be looking at Self Awareness, Self Knowledge, Self Acceptance, Self Trust, and Self Respect – with a bonus episode on Boundaries as well.
If you’ve been doing self-help or spiritual development work for a while, these are the types of foundational things that often people overlook in pursuit of fancier concepts that often aren’t practical or sustainable. Here, we will focus on building these strong foundations so you can honestly and thoroughly embody self-love. If you’re feeling it, subscribe to the show, and leave us a review wherever you listen from. You can also keep up with show updates and community discussions on Instagram here.